[UPDATE] Losing Weight After Having A Baby (Pt.II)

February 22, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi all.

Thanks for tuning in for another episode of MyWifeLife.

I’m adding to the story from my first entry which you can read all about it here 🙂

The idea is to share my journey on losing weight safely but maintaining high quality breastfeeds for my newborn son Ky for over 12 months.

So what’s new?

Well let’s go through a quick recap of the journey so far from my last entry.

My first reading (3 days after having a baby) was 94.9 kgs on 6 Jan 2018.

By the final reading of my last update (2 weeks after having little Ky) I was 89.5 kgs on 20 Jan 2018.

I lost 5.4 kgs in 2 weeks and I didn’t do anything spectacular. Just ate wholesome food and tried to keep a good sense of humour.

The aim of these post updates is to outline the ‘running score’ of how the safe weight loss process has been and whether I can ‘be good’ and disciplined with my plans to get that bikini body for Thailand by June 21 2018.

I’ll be providing monthly snapshots with photos plus letting you know what worked and what didn’t work as we go. Enjoy 😉

20 Jan – 3 Feb 2018

So here is a snapshot of my weight chart that I update daily.

Leki and I always weigh ourselves first thing the morning before we have breakfast.

Capture — Sorry about my messy handwriting!

So you can see on my tracking sheet from the 20 to 27 January 2018 I was steadily losing weight.

It averaged from 200g to 800g (Jan 25 to Jan 26 lost almost 1 kg!) over that week.

Again, I wasn’t doing anything special – didn’t have any junk food and I was successfully breastfeeding although my nipples were starting to get quite sore.

20180204_110729 — 27 Jan 2017 – 88.2 kgs

20180204_110800 — 27 Jan 2018 – 88.2 kgs

It was around this time I really put more effort into expressing for little Ky and spacing out the expressed bottle feeding to give my sore nipples a break 🙂

spectras2_1 — Spectra S2 – Great for expressing!

I have been using Spectra s2 for expressing and I find it to be powerful and quiet although it is bulky and difficult to take around with you.

Although I would recommend the Spectra 9 Portable model as it’s less bulky and easily fits in your handbag!

I do recommend the ‘let down cup’ which can help with any post-breastfeeding leaking. It’s been magic!

Thank you to my sister for pointing me towards these great resources 😉

Example of a ‘Let Down’ cup for post breastfeeding leakage

At almost a month old Ky was giving me around 3-4 hours rest in between each feed at night. Not too bad 🙂

So on the 20 Jan 2018 I came in at 89.5 kgs and on the 3 Feb 2018 measured 86.6 kgs losing 2.9 kgs for the fortnight and average 1.45 kgs lost for the week.

My waist circumference was 120 cms (6 Jan 2018) down to 113cm (3 Feb 2018)!

3 Feb – 17 Feb 2018

This fortnight was a MASSIVE struggle! I celebrated my husband’s birthday and Kyneton finally had his first round of vaccinations so we could get out and visit family and friends 🙂

Struggle #1 – Leki’s birthday

The 5 Feb is my husband’s birthday and we have this ‘thing’ where we celebrate a ‘happy birthday weekend 🙂

It’s basically a licence to eat whatever you want for dinner.

So on Sunday 4 Feb we had take away Chinese – YAY!

We went all out and ate special fried rice (large), honey chicken, Mongolian beef, wanton noodle soup and prawn crackers.

Don’t forget the dessert and birthday cake (yummy strawberry cheesecake and hokey pokey ice cream – Leki’s favourite!)

Then on Mon 5 Feb we finished off the left over Chinese food for dinner and Tues 6 Feb my sister visited and brought some Subway rolls which we shared.

So what was the result? I put on a whole heap of weight.

If you look at the tracking sheet I was 86.3 kgs on 4 Feb then a day after the ‘birthday weekend’ on 7 Feb I weighed 87.8 kgs?!

I put on 1.5 kgs in 2 days which usually takes me 1 week to lose!

TAKE AWAY MESSAGE = A week’s worth of being good with eating well can be quickly undone with eating only 2 x ‘cheat meals’.

Struggle #2 – Staying with Family over the weekend

So with grit and determination I restarted my effort to lose weight and keeping in with this theme of eating well, getting good quality sleep and trying to establish a good routine with Leki’s help.

So on Fri 16 Feb I left to stay with my Family in the city for 2 nights while Leki was away for the weekend.

It was great to finally see everyone as I was getting ‘cabin fever’ from having to stay away until Ky got his injections. While I was away at my parents house I was unable to weigh myself in the mornings as we usually do.

The challenge here is that you can’t eat your normal food.

Now there wasn’t anything completely ‘bad’ with the food I ate at my parents house it’s just not what I usually eat. You know what it feels like. It’s been a while since you see your parents and they want to feed you until you burst 😉

TAKE AWAY MESSAGE = Next time I stay a couple of nights away from home I’ll pack my own food to make it easier for me

I previously outlined what my ‘standard’ eating week looked like – check it out here.

I basically stuck with the same food choices and the only addition was the breastfeeding smoothie that I’ve put together.

The ingredients are: water/coconut water, almonds, cocoa powder, flax seeds, honey, half banana, cinnamon, MCT oil, oats and grass fed butter.

The end result is amazing!

The consistency should feel like a milkshake and I’m happy with 1 cup a day for breakfast 🙂

**NOTE – We bought a Vitamix blender as our family Xmas gift to ourselves 😉 and it is AWESOME! We make all sorts of things with a flick of a switch but be warned it comes with a heavy price tag – $729.99 at Costco. The feature we enjoy most from the Vitamix is the safety switch off mechanism if the blender is overheating. Saves it from itself essentially which is good for long term usage. We can make smoothies, ice cream/sorbet, baby food/purees, soups and much more. See the video below and you’ll get the picture – highly recommend!

Keep in mind for over a year we were using the Ambiano blender from Aldi until it died on us after a year of use and we paid $39.99 for it.

So there are may ways to lose weight. I documented earlier how with minimal exercise but being careful with food helped with losing weight the first time round.

Summary

In summary from my last entry I finished up weighing 89.5 kgs on 20 Jan 2018 and my latest entry on 20 Feb 2018 I weighed 87 kgs.

That’s a loss of 2.5 kgs over the last 4 weeks which is an average of 630 g per week.

My calculations from my starting date of 4 Jan 2018 to 21 June 2018 was to lose 1.2 kgs per week to achieve my goal of 69 kgs by the time I get to our Thailand holiday!

So I wasn’t very successful in the last 4 weeks because of a couple of cheat meals (Leki’s birthday and staying over my parents place) but on the positive side Ky is now 6 weeks old and averaging 5-6 hours in between breastfeeds at night 🙂

At least something I’m doing is working!

I’ll keep pushing on and provide you the next update in a month. Wish me luck 😉

With love,

Belinda xo

Do You Speak Another Language?

February 14, 2018February 13, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi guys,

I speak English at home but… if I had a time machine I would go back to the time when I was a little girl and I would beg my Mother and all my family members to speak to me in our native tongue – Tongan.

Growing up in the suburbs of Melbourne you can often be mistaken as being ‘true blue’ Australian unless you are obviously different.

If you have different skin colour, a foreign sounding name, a thick accent, pack strange food for lunch at school and/or dressed differently from other kids.

Now I’ve addressed a lot of these differences in previous posts.

I have a standard Western sounding maiden name: Belinda Maxine Wardell, got a fair complexion and I was dressed like a typical 90s kid – happy pants, shoulder pad blazers and frilly socks (thanks Mum!)

1460958152556 — Happy pants… will they make a comeback?

edbddeec0e1cef92cd6b9b1cf4b36e46 — 90210 and padded shoulders – yikes!

0381d99630c066de52035a0b57b248e4 — The cursed frilly socks!

Nothing wrong with all that although I do wish I could speak another language.

Have you ever boarded a train and then there’s a conversation that you can’t tune into because they’re speaking in Hindi or entered an elevator and the Chinese couple are having a spirited conversation while you’re standing their twiddling your thumbs 😉

Knowing another language and speaking it confidently is a blessing!

If you speak your own language then I would encourage you to grow and nurture your children’s interest in speaking your native tongue.

I can remember in school that some kids had ‘Language School’ on Saturday mornings to keep their native language ‘alive’.

There was Greek School in Coburg, Chinese School all over Melbourne and now there’s a great Pacific community that I’m familiar with that offer an educational service – Polynesian Kids Community Language School 🙂 Check them out!

I can speak English and understand bare minimum Tongan.

When I was being naughty and being told off by my Mother it was in Tongan.

When I was at Church some services were conducted in Tongan and I learnt prayers by rote although I didn’t understand everything that was being said.

What’s even more heart breaking is when my maternal grandmother visits from overseas she cannot communicate with me as much as we both would love to because her English is basic and my Tongan is even worse!

We try and gesture to each other and show other signs of affection but in the end we resort to having a translator help us out 🙁

Snapchat-533447318 — Grandma in Kyneton 🙂

Another interesting observation is that there is some ‘lost in translation’ moments. Some words within a language don’t quite mean the same or have the same effect if it was translated into English.

For example if there was a joke in Tongan the same funny sentence translated into English isn’t funny because the translation is too literal.

**RECOMMENDATION – I have come across a handy app that can walk you through lots of different languages. Duolingo – check it out!

Unfortunately Tongan is not available. Might have to work on my Spanish instead 🙂

Although I’m thankful that I do come from a heritage that is family focused and provides social support for me and my family it would mean more to me if I could speak the language fluently…. and more importantly talk openly with my Grandma without the translator.

P.S Sending out all our love and prayers to families and loved ones in Tonga as Cyclone Gita passed through 2 days ago.

‘Ofa lahi atu/All our love!

Belinda xo

The Montessori Method

February 7, 2018February 6, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi guys.

Thank you for tuning in.

Today I would like to congratulate all the children returning to school for the new calendar year in Australia – especially the little kiddies starting prep 🙂

My Facebook feed was blessed with photos and testimonials of parents wishing their kids all the best for the upcoming year.

I’m looking forward to be one of you doting Mothers tearfully saying goodbye to your kids as they return to school!

But… not too soon as I’m enjoying having them at home 😉

We are a Montessori family.

pose — Eme’s 1st day at Montessori – June 2017

We arrived at Montessori after being recommended by a friend who has their 3 x girls at their local Montessori school in Sydney.

Skeptical Leki and I discussed the different pre-school options and decided that The Montessori Method fits our perspective of lifelong learning.

This short video can give you an idea of why we chose Montessori.

We enrolled Emelina into Montessori in June 2017 and so she’s completed 6 months and we have enrolled her for 2018. We are really enjoying everything the school offers and we invite you to research this as an option for your children 🙂

So I thought I would share our thoughts on how we arrived on Montessori from all the pre-schooling options.

To give you some context I wrote in the past about our commitment to have one of us working full time and the other one at home to help raise the kids and keep the home homely.

It’s a common sacrifice that many parents make but I also acknowledge that some parents also choose to have both parents working too!

We looked for information on local support groups, community groups and casual groups that I could join allowing me the chance to meet new people and act as a gauge for Emelina to start 3yo kindergarten!

So after finding some local groups this is what Emelina’s weekly routine looked like early-2017:

Day	Time	Activity
Mon	10am-11am	Library
Tues	9:30am-11am	Mainly Music
Wed	10am-11am	Playgroup
Thurs	10am-11am	Playgroup
Fri	Free Day	REST

After 6 months of local community activities we found that Emelina was needing a bit more of challenge for her day so we decided to do some research and compare the benefits of daycare vs 3yo Kindergarten vs home schooling vs Montessori.

20170214_111331 — Eme at Mainly Music – Feb 2017

Here are the main pros and cons with the options available to us:

Activity

PROS

CONS

Library/Playgroup

– FREE

– Meet locals

– Walking distance

– Repetitive

– No structure

– No flexibility

Mainly Music

– Cheap

– Fun/Play!

– Community focused

– Very organised

– No flexibility

– Require close supervision

Daycare/3yo Kindy

– Fun/Play!

– Local families

– Free time for Mama

– Costly+

– Get sick often

– Can’t control food sources

Home Schooling

– Work from home

– Coursework supplied

– Protect Kids

– Work from home 🙂

– Costly++

– Sheltered Kids

Montessori

– Self directed learning

– Open structure

– No homework

– Costly++

– Dealing with older kids

– Not going to a ‘normal’ school

So after some initial research and visiting different centres we decided to enroll her in our local Montessori school about 25 minutes away from home.

We are very much in the early stages of being a Montessori family and I’m sure there will be challenges ahead but we are loving it so far!

Eme’s 2018 calendar now looks like this:

Day	Time	Activity
Mon	9:30am-11:30am	Montessori
Tues	10am-11am	Mainly Music
Wed	Free Day	REST
Thurs	10am-11am	Playgroup
Fri	9:30am-11:30am	Montessori

To be honest with you – I wasn’t the best student in school and always struggled from as early as Grade 3.

I couldn’t believe that I graduated from primary school because I couldn’t even spell properly! Leki and the other hand comes from a family where education was very important. (He helps me a lot with this blog and I’m so grateful that we can work together on this!)

So in closing we are big raving fans of the Montessori Method of teaching and learning but Leki and I are already discussing and planning primary and secondary schooling options for our kids.

Although we will continue with Montessori we do plan to send our kids to Tonga for a semester during the primary school years to learn the culture and to understand the humility of having the ‘good life’ in Australia.

I know this may sound strange given that our kids are still small but we are already thinking of sending them to boarding school overseas in high school!

Why would we do that? There are several reasons but giving that the world is changing so quickly having a worldly view is very important to us!

We are not hard set on anything at the moment but we are definitely putting some serious thought on this.

We have a 3yo and 1 month old and we are already talking about boarding school and overseas schooling – sounds crazy but if you think about it a lot of cultures do this for their kids.

Believe it or not I genuinely believe the Montessori Method coupled with overseas experience will serve them best in this rapidly changing world… more on this down the track 😉

With love,

Belinda.

Hot & Bothered

February 4, 2018February 1, 2018 by Mrs. Jane ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Belinda Edit | Thank you to all our contributors for MyWifeLife. This entry by Mrs. Jane is her first for 2018 and it’s greatly appreciated.

Read more about our contributors here. Enjoy Mrs. Jane’s sage observations as a Mother and Grandmother.

P.S This blog is based in Melbourne, Australia and we are in the middle of our hot summer to give you some context 🙂

How have you been faring through the days of high heat?

giphy-downsized — Averaging over 30 degrees Celsius in Melbourne

If you have a small baby my sympathies are with you as you try to keep the little one cool. Having had a January baby myself I remember his sweaty little body as I fed him through the heat and how flushed he was. Toddlers too often tire easily and become cranky and restless.

We seem to be the only country where our children return to school during our hottest month with often extreme temperatures. New Zealand and South Africa have milder temperatures than we usually experience, while in the northern hemisphere children have the hottest months on holiday returning to school at the beginning of Autumn.

I spent a few years living in Sydney as a child before air conditioning was available and remember well those humid, uncomfortable nights of broken sleep.

Everyone from children to adults was irritable and tired, dragging themselves through the day. One of the blessings of moving to Melbourne was to feel the Southerly Buster hit and the sudden drop in temperature whereas in Sydney an electric storm was more likely with even more humidity.

Pity the poor bridal parties coping with the heat, particularly if they hoped to have photos taken outside or on the beach. Pouring rain is another hazard or gale force winds.

We were married in January with a temperature of 43 degrees, howling northerly wind and an electrical storm hitting as we were about to take photos.

Needless to say all our photos were taken indoors. In contrast my brother had married the year before in the middle of winter in icy conditions with the bridesmaids (including myself) turning blue to match our gowns.

Do you ever think of your wedding and think how different it would be if you did it now?

Ours would be much simpler with more of our friends and fewer of our parents’ friends and definitely not Great Aunt Ruby who has a very limited acquaintance with soap and water.

Weddings for some have become ultra expensive and out of control.

We’ve been invited during the past couple of years to overseas weddings, Bali, Las Vegas and Paris and couldn’t afford to go, in common with many invitees.

We all felt guilty and so gave more than we intended, but one of the family felt it was a deliberate plan to cut down the numbers and so gave less.

Who was right?

Girls Are Weaklings

January 31, 2018January 31, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

Thanks for stopping by! I’ve received great feedback on my online diary from friends, family and Mothers I haven’t met who enjoy reading my blog.

I truly appreciate all your feedback – whether it’s great feedback or something you didn’t like I’d still love to hear from you 🙂

It helps me understand on what you find helpful, either way I’ll continue to write about things that interest me. Hope you continue to enjoy it!

Please feel free to leave feedback by commenting on this blog post at the bottom, replying on Facebook or Instagram.

I really appreciate your time.

So… what’s the topic of today’s post? Girls are weaklings!

I would like to begin with this quote from Caroline Paul who is an amazing woman – find out more about her here!

“We are raising our girls to be timid, even helpless and it begins when we caution them against physical risk”

Has anyone told you: “Don’t do that you might hurt yourself” or “It’s ok you’re a girl” or “You did pretty well considering you’re a girl” or “Be careful you aren’t strong enough”.

I’ve always been one to embrace the challenge of proving people wrong.

I remember when I was in primary school and all I wanted to do was climb trees and play rough with boys because girls were boring and shy. It may have been my tomboy stage but I didn’t find much in common with most girls at the time.

Anyway, at this early age (between 5-10yo) when we are at our most curious and adventurous I remember most adults telling me to be careful because I might get hurt.

I’m not sure if they genuinely thought I’d get hurt but it almost felt like they threw an invisible blanket over me to limit what I really wanted to do and explore.

On top of that it often struck me as weird that the same people would let boys do the crazy things I was attempting and not be as worried or strict on them.

Being cautious and ‘safe’ has always stuck with me and I’m ashamed to say I’ve caught myself placing those same restrictions on my children.

So what am I talking about? Let me explain…

I’ve recently had a little boy Kyneton who is 1 month old now 🙂

IMG-d64bfba47b0bebe8fb2245f24b9214d3-V — Little Ky – 1 month old

My daughter Emelina will be 3yo in March 2018.

I feel that I treat them differently already – simply because he’s a boy.

IMG-1e6426d4837f2f14bc7e10afafbe50c5-V — Eme – almost 3yo

For example I accidentally bumped Ky’s head in the bassinet when I was a trying to soothe him. I felt terrible but I don’t think I reacted as bad when the same thing happened to Eme when she was an infant.

How have I subconsciously placed more importance on my daughter’s safety over my son? Seems really strange doesn’t it!

I remember when we moved Eme from the crib to her ‘big girl bed’. We were so fearful that she’d fall and crack her head open that we surrounded her with pillows and boxed her in as she slept.

Did she fall? A couple of times. Did she crack her head open? Not even close 🙂

Now I’ve caught myself repeating the same words and placing the same limitations on my daughter… “Don’t do that you might hurt yourself”

So I wanted to dive deep into the idea of boys vs girls and our perception of that as parents.

What is the driving force behind this ‘safe vs risk’ mentality and how I can unpack these subconscious feelings between boys and girls?

So what did I find? Check out Caroline Paul’s presentation below and her thoughts on “Micro Bravery”:

So what does this mean to me?

The best summary of her talk is at the 9:25 min mark:

“Bravery is learned and like anything learned it just needs to be practiced.”

Caroline presents this idea of building confidence by practicing micro bravery.

So how do we become brave? Here are the 3 main points:

1. Kids develop valuable life lessons with risky play

Instead of limiting young girls, encourage them to try things and grow their curiosity.

Encourage adventure and learn the lessons on the discovering new things or the lessons from failure if it was a misadventure!

Risky play is really important for all kids because it teaches hazard assessment, delayed gratification, resilience and confidence. Important skills to develop and serve young girls to become confident young women.

2. Try and avoid being over-cautious with girls

When you warn or caution your girls try and pay attention to what you are saying – “Be careful it’s dangerous”, “Don’t do that” or “Watch out you might fall”.

Be mindful that what you are really telling your daughter is – “Don’t push yourself”, “You’re not good enough” or “You should be afraid”.

3. Women have to practice bravery and be an example to our girls

Caroline says that “fear and exhilaration feels like the same thing”.

This resonates with me because it is SO TRUE!

For example, not too long ago I was so fearful in speaking publicly. Even if it was a family birthday where I knew everyone I would still get so embarrassed and red (I wrote about this earlier here) that I almost felt like passing out so many times!

The fear > exhilaration with public speaking.

After building confidence over time and forcing myself to speak publicly I’ve gained an improving skill in being able to speak at a variety of functions from family gatherings to a faceless crowd 🙂

Now the exhilaration > fear with public speaking!

The feeling of fear and exhilaration is almost identical it just depends on how you look at things!

So my dream for Emelina is to grow up being courageous and to not be limited by fear. Overcome challenges through courage rather then shying away from it.

In the meantime I’ll have to check myself and encourage her to be brave and try new things and avoid placing limitations on her.

So in closing I would like to emphasise Caroline’s final statement:

“This is not about the challenges in front of her right now. It’s about the life ahead of her and that she has the tools to handle and assess all the dangers that we cannot be there to protect her from”

I hope you see the value in Caroline’s TED talk and the idea behind ‘risky play’ especially for young girls.

I love both my kids equally. Now I have to work on treating them the same.

Wish me luck 😉

Belinda.

My Journey On Losing Weight After Having A Baby (Pt.I)

January 24, 2018January 24, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi all.

Thanks for tuning in for another episode of MyWifeLife.

This is an online diary for all the interesting and simple things that I experience as a Mother and I love sharing my observations with you.

The topic for today and my intention is to share my journey to self-educate on the best and safest ways for me to lose weight but maintain high quality breastfeeding for Ky for over 12 months.

I aim to provide a monthly in depth report of my well being journey for myself and my newborn son.

This is not the first time I’ve attempted to safely lose weight. I managed to lose just under 30 kgs in 6 months after the birth of my daughter in 2015. Read about that journey here 🙂

But… I have to be honest. I have a selfish reason on trying to lose weight.

We are celebrating my Mother’s 60th birthday and my sister’s wedding in Phuket, Thailand in late-June to early-July 2018.

So I have under 6 months to get to achieve my goal of being <70kg before we fly to Thailand.

So let’s begin…

Leki and I weigh ourselves EVERY morning.

This is incorporated into our day and Leki and I always talk about our numbers and why we are losing weight or gaining weight. What do we talk about? The food we eat.

Below are my starting stats:

On the 3 January 2018 I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I weighed 98.5 kg. After I had baby Kyneton I was weighed at the hospital coming in at 95.5 kg.

6 January 2018

3 days after I gave birth and was discharged from the hospital I weighed 94.9 kg.

This is my starting date and weight that I will track closely and report back monthly.

20180106_082942 — 94.9 kgs on 6 Jan 2018

So how will I lose the weight safely? I hinted at this earlier – by being really good with the food I eat.

I’ll present my research (which will be very basic) from different sources that I read, watch and subscribe to.

If it helps me, I’ll share it. If it doesn’t help, I’ll share that too!

I’m wanting to design an easy way for new Mums to lose weight but not compromise on the health and well being of our child 🙂

So let me start with the end in mind.

My goal is to lose weight.

The magic number to lose is 25.9 kg! Targeting a loss to 69 kg from 94.9 kg.

I have 22 weeks before we fly overseas and to lose 25.9 kg.

So that means I need to lose an average of 1.2 kg per week to achieve my goal!

Challenge accepted 🙂

20180107_114319(0) — 6 Jan 2018 – 94.9 kg

So there are may ways to lose weight. I documented earlier how with minimal exercise but plenty of vigilance with food helped with losing weight the first time round.

In short we followed a modified paleo diet.

The name ‘paleo’ comes from the word paleolithic which is a technical term for a prehistoric era. A word I use interchangeably with ‘paleo’ is caveman – the caveman diet.

Think of how our prehistoric caveman ancestors would have found food. Probably a lot of vegetables, fruits and nuts because they were easy to find. Meat on the other hand may have been something to look forward to on a rare occasion. Maybe a couple times a month when the prehistoric tribe were successful in catching prey.

So I would summarise a paleo diet as being 80% fruit, vegetables and nuts and 20% meat. There is very little dairy in our modified paleo diet (mostly grass fed butter and a very small amount of full cream milk). You are cutting out anything that is manufactured. Basically anything that comes out of any box – we try and avoid as best we can.

The main source of information and inspiration 😉 comes from the guys at Bulletproof and Tim Ferris’ slow carb diet.

20180107_114431 — 6 Jan 2018 – 94.9 kg – 120 cm waist circumference

Ok so why don’t I follow the same program as I did earlier?

That’s a valid question but the difference this time is that I am looking to lose weight while I am breastfeeding rather then waiting until I finish breastfeeding which I what I did last time.

20 Jan 2018

So I have updated my most recent reading which was 89.5 kg.

This is 2 weeks after my initial reading of 94.9 kg on 6 Jan 2018.

So I’ve lost 5.4 kg over the last fortnight that would be 2.7 kg per week so far 🙂

Obviously I’m not getting too carried away as there is a lot baby fat that will come off me but I’ll take that! 😉

Made with Square InstaPic — 20 Jan 2018 – 89.5 kg

The most important thing to me though is the well being of my newborn son Ky (now 3 weeks old!) and my goal is to breastfeed for over 1 year!

If I find that I’m not producing quality breast milk then I’ll have to review what I’m doing and the weight loss challenge may have to take the backseat for a while.

Remember my goal is to lose at least 1.2 kg per week by late-June 2018 so I can squeeze into a bikini in Thailand!

This will be a real account of my weight loss journey – no filter.

If I lose momentum and gain weight I’ll have to be accountable to you and report it.

Looking forward to bringing you the next update in a month’s time!

With love,

Belinda.

Introducing Kyneton Wardell Sisifa

January 17, 2018January 17, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 2 Comments

Hi all,

GREAT NEWS!

On Wed 3 January 2018 Leki and I welcomed our second child – Kyneton Wardell Sisifa.

He joins our little girl Emelina who will be 3yo in March.

So I would like to share an unfiltered account of the last stages of my pregnancy and document the delivery below.

WARNING: BELOW YOU WILL SEE ME GIVING BIRTH TO MY SON AND IN ALL IT’S GLORY. THERE WILL BE REAL BLOOD AND GUTS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK! 🙂

So here is the story of Kyneton’s journey to join us in chronological order on Wed 3 Jan 2018:

3:35pm – 3rd Caseload nursing appointment

In week 36 to week 38 leading up to the final stages of my pregnancy I had high blood pressure monitored by my caseload nurse/Ellie as I’ve had history of mild pre-eclampsia from the last pregnancy.

I had 3 x 6 hours screening sessions on Wed 27th Dec 2017, Fri 29th Dec 2017 and the fateful one on 3 Jan 2018.

My nurse Ellie was not too confident with my high blood pressure readings so she sent me to Sunshine Hospital (local public hospital) to be screened.

I also started having Braxton-Hicks contractions.

4:25pm – Dropped Emelina to Leki’s sister to babysit in a nearby suburb

We had pre-planned for worst case scenarios by having our pregnancy ‘bug out bags’ in the boot of the car. I had bags packed for Leki, Emelina and myself. What a relief as I still had 2 weeks until I reach term 🙂

Leki’s sister and her family are a short drive from the hospital and helped a lot by having Emelina for 2 nights. THANK YOU!

5:20pm – Arrived to the Sunshine Pregnancy Care Centre

The nurses planned for another 6 hour screening of my blood pressure every 30 mins.

Leki dropped me off and went to chase up some loose ends at work with the intention of returning within the next 2 hours. He did was most men do and think that everything will be ok!

Back to scrolling my Facebook feed 😉

7:00pm – Baby is under stress!

While I was at the Pregnancy Care Centre (PCC) my growing contractions and abdominal pain was concerning the Head Nurse. She mentioned that it is not uncommon that high blood pressure can be an indicator that the baby is under stress. Things escalated pretty quickly as the specialists insisted that I should have an epidural and undergo a Caesarian section to get this baby out ASAP.

Luckily I didn’t share the specialist’s enthusiasm and opted to attempt a ‘natural birth’ after receiving great advice from the Head Nurse.

As I was moved from PCC to the birthing suite I rang Leki to let him know that the medical staff are looking to induce me. (He was obviously shocked with the sudden change in management and jumped on his magic carpet straight away! Fortunately he was only 30 mins away in peak hour traffic.)

So my Braxton Hicks contractions were starting to worsen and I told Leki to stop by his sister’s house and pick up some supplies as we may be having a baby tonight and my contractions were still more then 15-20 mins apart.

I video called Emelina when Leki arrived to his sister’s house and said soon you’ll be an older sister! For some reason I wanted to speak to Eme and let her know that Mama is ok as I felt rushed in dropping her off earlier and I had not properly said goodbye to her. I felt guilty that we’ll now move from being a family of 3 to 4 and that ‘time’ with Eme has come to an end. I was starting to feel so overwhelmed by it all!

8:30pm – Settling into the Birthing Suite

Imagine this scene.

Leki is sitting in the chair next to me eating fried rice, salad and chicken while I’m next to him in the bed huffing and puffing like a heavy elephant.

It didn’t irritate me if anything it comforted me as his casual approach smoothed the seriousness of the occasion – I’m being induced because baby is under stress!

We were offered options for birth – Caesarian section (again?!), water birth or natural birth.

My goal from the outset was to push for a natural birth without medications. Managed it with Emelina so let’s try and make it 2 from 2!

Contractions were 10 mins apart now.

8:40pm – Water is broken

My caseload nurse Ellie was making her way and so I had an experienced nurse Michelle for the first part of my delivery. She was successful in breaking my water and it felt like a cold stick being inserted between your thighs and then a rush of ‘warming flooding’ flushing out.

Fortunately after my water was broken they did not need to induce me as I was already starting the contractions and they were getting shorter and shorter between each contraction.

Soon after the water was broken Michelle could see the baby’s head so she attempted to place a monitor on the baby to get some vital signs.

*8:55pm – 2nd attempt to place monitor on baby’s head

*9:00pm – 3rd attempt to place monitor on baby’s head

Michelle had trouble placing the monitor on baby’s head as there was a small film of fluid that didn’t allow the monitor to stick properly. I’ll be honest it was frustrating to have her physically penetrate me each time and fiddle around so I focused on slowing my breathing down and picture being somewhere else more relaxing.

Contractions are now ramping up to being 5 mins apart!

9:13pm – STRONG Contractions

My contractions are now more frequent and more forceful being 2-3 minutes apart. Did I mention they were PAINFUL. I would rate the pain being 6/10 at this time although it shot through the roof quick smart!

*9:16pm – contraction

*9:19pm – contraction

*9:21pm – contraction

*9:24pm – contraction

*9:28pm – contraction

*9:30pm – contraction – pretty much 10/10 on the pain scale now!

9:35 – Attempted to use the toilet

A sense of dread hit me now.

I NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET!

OMG!!! I might have this baby in the toilet! Michelle was trying to help my by saying “let your body do what it wants you to do”. If you need to use the loo then go use it baby is fine! Sounds like good advice but when you’re in the moment can you really trust your bowel and bladder to work together with your baby?

Believe it or not I felt more embarrassed that I might shit myself more then anything else. Definitely a moment of weakness.

Luckily Leki was there to help. He had no problems with assisting me and did a great job of cleaning up the backdoor for me 🙂 and help calm me down.

It was a great challenge trying to manage the bowel contractions to the baby contractions. Even though it only took me 3 mins to use the toilet I had to time the baby contractions between the bowel contractions so I don’t get the double whammy!

Unfortunately I did have one ‘double contraction’ which is where BOTH the bowel and the baby contraction hit me.

You can imagine the range of emotions in that 3 minute window. Pain, embarrassment, fatigue, relief… and so on.

Again I was focusing on my slowed breathing strategy – 5 seconds in through the nose then slow exhale out the mouth in 5 seconds. Helped me a lot and I highly recommend it!

9:40pm – Standing Contraction

So by this time my caseload nurse Ellie had finally arrived and relieved Michelle from her great work.

Ellie immediately recommended that I try and stand to labour for a short while to allow gravity help bring the baby ‘down’. I swear every time the contractions came on I could feel his little head was poking out the front door.

At this time my contractions were VERY STRONG and almost 2 mins apart.

*9:48pm – VERY STRONG contraction in standing

*9:51pm – VERY STRONG contraction and “feels like he’s coming”

*9:52pm – “HE’S COOOOMING!?”

9:52pm to 10:18pm – THE FINAL PUSH

I had reached peak dilation now and baby was making his grand entrance.

Leki reported that I had about 3-4 contractions over 20 mins in which I allowed the contractions to come over me then ‘push at the bottom of the contraction’ and give it everything I’ve got.

As I was concentrating on pushing this baby out Leki peered over and watched everything from front row seats and saw baby’s head starting to show. He helped time my BIG PUSH with when the contraction was about to end and helped with my breathing regime in between contractions.

With my final efforts Leki saw that his whole head had finally popped out and that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck two times around!

Not the most pleasant thing to see but with my LAST FINAL PUSH Ellie masterfully removed the cord around his neck and cradled him out all in the one motion and we had finally done it!

Leki and I had already cued up 2-3 names but we decided to wait until he arrived to see which name would suit him the best.

10:20pm – KYNETON WARDELL SISIFA

So, I’d like to formally introduce our son measuring 3.1 kgs, 51cm long and 32cm in head circumference – Kyneton Wardell Sisifa.

10:23pm – Placenta delivery

Nurse Ellie offered an injection into the leg to help with the labouring to ‘deliver’ the placenta. It took another period of time for the placenta to arrive and Ellie asked if we wanted it.

Unfortunately we hadn’t done much research on do’s and don’ts so we donated it to science 🙂

*10:39pm – Placenta out and Leki cut the cord

10:56pm – First family selfie

So this is our first (of many) selfies after the 2 hour labour. What a relief!

We implemented the skin on skin time straight away and tried unsuccessfully to get little Ky onto the boob for his initial feed. He had the right idea but didn’t quite have the co-ordination to latch on straight away but after a few minutes of trial and error the little man managed to get on and suckle!

11:29pm – Stitches

Ellie said that I’ve settled post delivery to start the stitching and repair the wounds of birth. She was pretty happy that there was only a little bit of damage which required 7 x stitches.

*12:01am – Finished stitches

12:01am-2:00am – Skin on skin and rest time

While Ellie was completing her clinical notes on how everything went Leki had a little nap on the floor next to me and Kyneton and I hung out and got ourselves acquainted!

2:00am-2:20am – Freshening up!

So I was well enough to help myself into the shower and wash all the pain and suffering away in the warm water! After the shower I got into my comfortable nightie which made me feel so relaxed and luxurious after the 2 hour labour!

During this time Leki got Ky into his first costume change and he did a pretty good job while I was in the shower!

Another selfie of the proud parents with their latest product! 🙂

2:20am – Waiting to be moved to the Ward

So we’re nearing the end of the show and I’m waiting on the bed to be prepared in the Ward so I can be transferred from the birthing suite.

Unfortunately there was no room for Leki to shack up with us so he was politely asked to go home. He kissed me goodbye and congratulated me on the great energy and effort spent on squeezing our little cherub into the world!

The next morning Leki told me he was too tired to drive anywhere so he slept in the car parked in the hospital car park. He’s one of those people who can sleep anywhere 🙂

8:01am – Thurs 4 Jan 2018 – 1st Morning

So I had a pretty good night’s sleep with around 5 hours and I was fortunate to share the Ward with another 3 new Mums and they were all courteous and respectful despite the ‘cosy’ environment. We all made it work as women tend to do 😉

Leki came by early in the morning and bought my first meal which was McDonald’s with coffee. Exactly what I wanted! Probably not the best meal to have first up but I felt I needed something to reward my effort 😉

Soon after I got myself up and changed Ky for the first time. Had to manage handling the doodle but it’s second nature for me now after having a couple of days practice.

**TIP – My sister who has a son recommended putting a wet wipe over the willy as you wipe just in case the ‘fire hydrant bursts’ which can protect you and the baby from waterworks LOL

Well, if you have stuck with me all the way through – THANK YOU.

I really wanted to demystify the birth process and make it real. It’s very different from woman to woman and fortunately mine was quite straight forward with some minor challenges.

So how can I summarise the birthing experience? The best analogy I’ve come across is – “Imagine trying to squeeze a watermelon though a lemon” 🙂

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post as much as I have presenting it to you.

And just like that we’re now a family of four.

With love,

Leki, Belinda, Emelina and Kyneton xo

Puberty Blues

January 10, 2018January 8, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi friends 🙂

Second post for 2018 and I feel like we are continuing with great momentum from 2017.

I hope you had a great time with your family and friends over the festive season!

I was recharging with Leki’s family at our annual getaway down the coast. We hired our first AirBnB which was a positive experience with 5 bedrooms, 2 living spaces, 3.5 bathrooms and an indoor pool 🙂 Relaxing was the top priority!

During this time together I took the chance to observe how we all interact with each other and paid close attention to how the little cousins play together.

One particular conversation I’d like to have with you today is about puberty.

One of my nieces is in the early stages of puberty which makes me think about my own experience around that time.

**Eme** (6 months) 2015 | **Belinda** (6 months) 1986

I started developing a ‘womanly’ body in Grade 6 and I was 11yo. I started to stretch in height and put more weight on my shapely frame, had unwanted attention to my growing breasts and a lot of confusion with my first period.

Confused, embarrassed and anxious I remember thinking am I the only one going through this? How can I be bleeding, I didn’t hurt myself? What will my Mum think? Can I hide somewhere?

What an incredibly strange and confusing time!

**Belinda** (3yo) 1989 | **Eme** (nearly 3yo) 2017

Naturally my thoughts move from my experience and shift focus to Emelina who will be 3yo in March 2018.

I like to think that I’m not a helicopter parent but I would like to reduce the chance of Emelina getting hurt or avoid challenges that are out of my control.

On the other hand, it’s quite a normal process to go through puberty.

Although we may come out the other end differently.

Kids going through puberty can be swayed by peer pressure, some children are exposed to adult ideas earlier then others, some may be too sheltered and overprotected from the big wide world and some people I grew up with almost glide through puberty without any scars – or none that I could see!

The puberty experience is unique to each and everyone of us. To be honest I’m glad it’s behind me as it was a very awkward and confusing time for me personally. (I previously wrote something on this topic earlier here).

How do you recall your experience? Were your parents open and transparent about it or did they duck and hide? Did you have other siblings that went through all the trauma first and softened the landing for you?

Right now we bathe Eme in her little bathtub while we shower next to her. Leki and I are maximising all the skin on skin time before she gets too big or too cool 🙂 for it! Over 6 months ago she noticed that Mum and Dad had different parts and pieces while in the shower. Not surprising soon after that Leki now wears shorts in the shower 😉

Belinda (Grade 6) 1997 – looking forward to high school next year!

When will we start introducing the idea of puberty to Eme? How will we approach it? How will we know that she’s ready to talk about it? I have no idea!

Well we have around 8 years to prepare ourselves and work on being mindful that Eme has already evolved from being a toddler to a small child. She can construct small sentences and respond to simple questions!

Next thing I know she’ll be asking me all those uncomfortable questions parents dread. I guess I’ll have to work on being comfortable in discomfort 🙂

More to report on this issue in a future post.

With love,

Belinda.

Living Longer

January 3, 2018January 3, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi there,

My first post for 2018 is about living longer. A bit strange coming from a 32yo Mum of 1 very soon to be 2 😉 but there’s a reason why I’ve been thinking about this recently.

I’m a Pacific Islander and we can be notorious for eating a massive amount of food. This over-consumption can lead to poor lifestyle choices and poor health indicators. What sort of poor health indicators?

High cholesterol
High blood pressure
Type II diabetes
Obesity
Heart disease
Gout… the list goes on.

It wasn’t always this way though.

yeh yeh 061 — Our local church in Ma’ufanga, Tonga – 2007

If I were to take you to my mother’s village, Ma’ufanga in Tonga you would see a vast difference from the type of person living in the Islands compared to those of us who have migrated overseas.

Picture this – you can only eat from seeds you’ve planted, pick fruit from trees you climb, harvest produce from your land you work on, meat from your animals you prepare or fish you catch.

In summary you eat well, you’re physically working the land and you are involved in your village/community.

Now picture this other scenario. Convenience food has allowed fast food to be quickly prepared and poorly produced, rarely eat fruit and vegetables, regular exercise is a genuine struggle and there is a huge disconnect with the cattle grazing in the field to the beef sitting in your Big Mac burger.

So food quality is generally poor, exercise infrequently and are disconnected from your local community.

It’s almost polar opposites of how Pacific Islanders from the Islands live compared to the Pacific Islanders overseas.

Some relatives of mine pass too early and way before their time. My 55yo uncle had a stroke and died from an unfortunate head trauma when he fell, an aunty needs dialysis 4 days a week to filter her blood otherwise she’ll die, 30yo cousins struggle to walk due to gout.

I would have loved to have my uncle still involved in my life and in our community but his untimely death cut short his time with us by 30 years! Makes me sad. Imagine if your time was cut short by 30 years!

So why is this the case?

I found this great article that talks about how people live longer and what the common trait among them are? Where do they live? What are their daily habits? How to they deal with stress and so on…

So what were the main findings?

Maintain a healthy lifestyle – regular exercise, managing stress, eating the right foods in the right portions and not eating and drinking to excess
Being involved in supportive groups – family, religious communities and social groups

Common sense really but living this way means living better and living longer 🙂

Start small and build slowly. Try a daily walk. Practice being alone without technology for a short period of time. Question the food you’re eating – is it giving you energy or is it sapping your energy? How are you dealing with stress?

I don’t want to lose 30 years… do you?

With love,

Belinda.

Fear Setting

December 27, 2017January 2, 2018 by Belinda ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Hi everyone,

As this post is beamed out to you we are quickly approaching the New Year. giphy-downsized

This is the part of the year which goal setting can become popular. Over the years I’ve been apart of the crowd trying to make big goals for the new year. Although plenty of goals were made very little were successful.

Out with the old – in with the new is the old saying.

Well this year I’d like to lay down a new challenge. Instead of ‘Goal Setting’ try ‘Fear Setting’ instead.

So what is fear setting? Well this blog post from Tim Ferriss about Fear Setting is where I draw a lot of inspiration:

(A) Define your nightmares – think of the worst thing that could happen to you. Your spouse may die, a life threatening injury, you lose all your money, you lose your job.

(B) Then think about the likelihood of these things actually happening and prevent it. Really put some emotional thought and feeling behind your spouse dying. How would you feel if you lost all your money and you had to start all over again? What would your immediate thoughts be if you lost your job tomorrow?

(C) Then compile your thoughts on a piece of paper and write down your options in determining the best way forward by repairing it. For example, if you always thought about leaving your job write down your actionable plan if you actually pulled the trigger. What other jobs are there that interest you? What are your chances of successfully getting that job? If all else fails what are your chances of returning to your old job? The combinations are endless but thinking about it can help control your fears and anxiety of it happening.

(D) Now list all the potential benefits and costs of taking action or inaction. Review this every quarter, 6 monthly or yearly

Here’s quick spreadsheet for you to track your own fear setting calculations – thanks to Marvin Russell for putting it together!

giphy

So using Tim’s Fear Setting exercise, here are my Top 3 Fears I entered on June 2017:

(A) DEFINE

Having a miscarriage
Losing the ‘spark’ with my husband
Family member dying suddenly

(B) PREVENT

If a miscarriage does occur I’ll need to arm myself with resilience now. It will be painful to lose a child and I need to find the best support groups if required
What measure do I have in place in case Leki and I split up? How will the kids be affected? How will my family and friends react? I need to work on being in a relationship that is open, honest and respectful
Talk about what the family action plan is if one member was to suddenly pass away. What is the estate planning? What is the family’s position on the power of attorney? What is the legal process?

Educate myself on how miscarriages happen and work on being thankful for all that happens
Celebrate and be grateful for every little success or challenge and approach disagreements with logic rather then emotion. Open communication between us has to be a priority for our relationship to last the distance
Commit to an action plan on estate planning and ensure regular visits with family so we are committed to an agreed process

(D) PLANNING – ACTION OR INACTION

I can report that I have addressed all these targets made in June 2017. Although it’s not really a one off thing as I’m always working on my fears it’s more so an understanding that unpacking fears and making them a lot less scary makes me stronger in the long run.

Here are my Top 3 Fears heading into 2018:

(A) DEFINE

My baby boy being born with a ‘disability’
Unforeseen complications with the birth
Not being able to lose weight like I did the first time

(B) PREVENT

Am I making the best healthy choices for my body and mind? What can I do to improve my situation? Who is someone I can follow and help educate myself?
Acknowledging that complications can be apart of the process and being ‘ok’ with it
Understanding that having a newborn and a toddler at the same time is a new challenge and I might not have as much time to focus on myself

If I do have a ‘disabled’ child I will love him as I would any child. I will educate myself on his ‘disability’ and encourage him to live his life to the fullest and I will do my best to support him
Prepare for the top 3 complications in birth. Ensure that I have my support systems in place with Leki, immediate family and insurance cover for any worst case scenarios
Find out the minimum but effective dose to lose weight by using my experience the first time round. Educate myself on safely losing weight by monitoring my diet closely but not to the detriment of my newborn son

(D) PLANNING – ACTION OR INACTION

To be completed in June 2018 🙂

Fast forward from June 2017 to December 2017 I can say that highlighting my fears rather then fantasising about dreamy goals has been far more successful for me. Running away from a fear has proved more helpful then running towards a reward.

So in summary – these are very confronting questions you may ask yourself. Your challenges are your own and it’s up to you to decide how you conquer your mountain.

Here is Tim’s TED Talk in full about Fear Setting (13 mins well spent, believe me) 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J6jAC6XxAI

“Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life’ – Jerzy Gregorek

See you in 2018!

Belinda.

MyWifeLife

Ordinary Wives | Extraordinary Lives

[UPDATE] Losing Weight After Having A Baby (Pt.II)

So what’s new?

20 Jan – 3 Feb 2018

3 Feb – 17 Feb 2018

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Do You Speak Another Language?

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The Montessori Method

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Hot & Bothered

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Girls Are Weaklings

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My Journey On Losing Weight After Having A Baby (Pt.I)

6 January 2018

20 Jan 2018

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Introducing Kyneton Wardell Sisifa

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Puberty Blues

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Living Longer

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Fear Setting

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So what’s new?

20 Jan – 3 Feb 2018

3 Feb – 17 Feb 2018

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6 January 2018

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