Last week I celebrated my 33rd birthday with my family.
It was a great time to appreciate the things you have like health, happiness, safety, and security.
When I reflected on how my life is… I started thinking about the time when I was 16yo.
Maybe you can relate.
When I was 16yo I remember lying on my bed staring at the ceiling in my room thinking… “what is my future going to look like?”
“I wonder when I’ll get married”
“I wonder what my husband will look like”
“Will I ever find the right guy?”
“I want to get married before I’m 25”
“25?? Wow… that’s SO old” 🙂
“When will I start having kids?”
These questions continued on and off from when I was 16yo until well into my 20s.
I remember praying everyday that I would meet someone that would genuinely love me.
The real me.
The Belinda that blushes bright red when I have a simple conversation.
The Belinda that can’t spell too well.
The Belinda that is a simple home body.
The Belinda that works in a factory.
The Belinda that loves her family and supports her community.
The Belinda that is happy with the simple things.
I thank God everyday for the life I have but I had to put the intention out there for the universe to understand what I wanted in this life 🙂
So as I reflect on my 33rd birthday I am grateful for all the things that I’ve experienced.
I’m now double the age from when I was staring into my bedroom ceiling as a 16yo and I smile about the things I was thinking about then and how I am now.
I have a loving husband, 2 beautiful children and we are happy and healthy in our own little house in the suburbs.
If I were to give myself advice knowing what I know now this is the Top 3 bits of advice I would say to 16yo Belinda:
- Be kind to yourself and don’t try and please everyone
- Be the person you want to attract
- Live your life today and don’t dwell in the past
Be kind to yourself and don’t try and please everyone
So here’s the thing.
As a hormonal 16yo all you want in the world is to be liked by everyone.
I know that trying to tell a teenager that everything you are going through, the things you’re feeling, the stresses of your school life, the pressure of you family life the weight of expectation you put on yourself… it’s all in your head.
Talk a breath and just relax.
The number one person to worry about and look after is you – 16yo Belinda 🙂
The more you can improve yourself and learn from your experiences then the better adult you’ll develop into.
Be the person you want to attract
Let me tell you a true story.
Earlier I mentioned that every night when I was 16yo I’d lie in bed – I would pray to God to help me find the man of my dreams and to help me understand my future.
I don’t know if that was just a hope that something was going to happen for me or if there was some divine intervention that would deliver ‘prince charming’.
Anyway I prayed every night without fail.
Then I would go to sleep and wake up and continue on with what I was involved with. School, my Catholic community, many family events and celebrations.
Fast forward to when God brought Leki into my life my prayers have changed from helping me find myself and my future to being thankful and appreciative of the life I live now.
Thank you God for the blessings you have given me.
Live your life today and don’t dwell on the past
I have a past.
My husband Leki has a past.
That can be a limiting factor in some relationships because the past weighs heavy on what’s happening today.
Leki and I believe that trust is something that you spend a lifetime building and only takes a moment to lose forever.
We can move on to enjoy today and embrace tomorrow because we have learnt the lessons from yesterday 🙂
That’s not a good or a bad thing – it is what it is.
I can’t control what’s already happened but I can control how I feel about things.
Live for today Belinda.
Well, that’s the messages I would give my 16yo self if I had the chance.
I remember the confusion, excitement and promise I had as a 16yo and even though I’m in my 33rd year I feel like I have more energy and expectations of myself now then I did then.
As they say – the only person you should be comparing yourself to is the old you.
Love yourself Belinda and work on the things that make you happy.
Hmm.. I wonder what would the 50yo Belinda tell the Belinda of today?
Our daughter Emelina will be 21 and our son Kyneton will be 18.
Will we have more children?
Do we live in Gisborne still?
Am I happy?
Do I have my body still or have I let myself go with menopause 😉
I’ll have to wait and see.
Do the things that make you happy.