A little controversial post today.
I started this blog without really telling you my beliefs and core values.
Why is that important?
It will give you an idea on how I think and where I stand on issues.
Here we go!
Couple first, Kids second
In order to run a happy household we believe that the Mum and Dad should come first before children.
It sounds harsh but the reason is that if Mum and Dad are on different pages then how can the kids thrive?
The husband and wife connection is most important.
Kids are not silly – they can read Mum and Dad and can play us against each other 🙂 Our little 3yo Emelina is already trying this tactic on us!
So if Mum and Dad are effectively communicating and are aligned on their thinking and core values then their message will be consistent when we get tested by the kids.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (2017 stats) the highest chance of divorce is around the 12 year mark and when couples approach the mid-40s to early-50s.
So thinking about that a little more closely – let’s assume a couple got married in the mid-20s and started having kids straight away. By the time you’re in your mid-40s:
- Kids are more independent and in their late teens/early 20s
- Kids may leave the home/empty nest syndrome
- Stress of money as kids are at peak expense (phones, clothes, car, bills!!)
- Work, work, work and less time
After 20 years of hard work and slogging away and then POOF! The kids disappear and it’s just you and your hubby again.
The only problem is that in 20 years the communication between you as a couple may have stopped or dropped off dramatically.
Maybe priorities have changed and too much focus was placed on the kids rather then your primary relationship as husband and wife.
You may start to think about what else is out there.
You might start to think about what you missed out on.
You then begin to feel like trying some new.
Then all of a sudden divorce can become a real conversation.
This is not something I’ve made up.
The Australian Government statistics show a 5% increase in the rate of divorce from 2016 to 2017 (although the trend of divorce is reducing compared to 15 year ago in 2001).
Our personal view is that the couple’s relationship for the family is like a house.
The foundation is the husband and wife.
The kids sit on top of us as the house.
The stronger the foundation then the more support and sturdy the house will be 🙂
Discipline and Routine
I write at length about this very topic.
Our belief in discipline and routine shows in all aspects of our lives.
Review the blog posts below for more details on how we go about it as a Family.
Shaping their curiosity and learning with the Montessori Method.
Faith and reflection by going to Church.
Food choices and preparing nutritious meals.
Time management and making time for important things and people.
For us it’s not about reading and thinking about these topics. It’s about action and living it 🙂
Traditional and Conservative
This is the hardest point for me to share with you.
I almost feel like we are the silent majority.
Father works for the Family and Mother nurtures the Family.
I’m a proud Stay at Home Mum.
I wrote earlier about this being one of the main priorities even in the early days of our relationship as a couple – before we got married.
The world today is much different to that of our grandparents.
Technology allows easier consumption of content and connection.
New ideas are embraced.
Great improvement in lifestyle with travel overseas much easier and affordable.
Opportunities for a better life. (Both Leki and I come from migrant parents)
All of these positive improvements in our lives come at a cost.
We almost live in a 24 hour economy.
“Customer service to be available on demand”.
“Longer trading hours at the shopping centre”.
“Now open longer”.
“On call whenever you need”.
Yes, you have more opportunities to earn more money.
At what cost?
I don’t begrudge you if your circumstances are different from mine and you are a working Mum.
All the more power to you.
I’m a supporter of your right to do what’s best for you and your Family.
All that I ask is that you give the same support back to me in our decision to do what’s best for my Family.
Right now it’s to be a Stay At Home Mum.
Once all the kids are a touch older and independent I may decide to go back to some part time work or volunteer position.
But our priority is setting up a Healthy & Happy Home 🙂
This post is not intended to come across to you as judgemental.
I believe in putting my intentions out to the Universe so that I have solid footing to stand on.
I’ll promise to keep an open and respectful mind while I do what’s best my little Family.