25 years ago my Aunties and Uncles started a Catholic community for Tongans based in Melbourne, Australia.
In 1994 they started the Tongan Catholic Community at Sacred Heart Preston.
I have great memories growing up with my cousins learning our culture and language.
After Church my uncle Daniel who was a youth leader would take the kids to McDonald’s on Bell St Preston or Foodstar on Plenty Rd.
Other times we would gather at my Aunty Pauline and Uncle Daniel’s house around the corner from the church to practice our choir songs, eat and celebrate family times.
When new families move to Melbourne we would organise a little welcome dinner or meal and it was always a great feeling being involved with a community.
I remember preparing to perform a traditional Tongan dance for community gatherings.
Our traditional dance incorporates graceful movements, upright standing form with our National costume.
I used to be so scared that I’d forget the movements.
I’ve come full circle now as my 4yo daughter performed her very first dance just like I did all those years ago!
We were so proud!
So now our community is just a few families as people move further away and Interstate.
The thing I love about our community is that it’s a place to slow down and enjoy your family, say thank you for all the good things you have in your life, look to draw help and support from when times are tough and it’s a commitment that my Family enjoys.
Looking forward to maintaining our traditions and keeping the culture alive.
Did you have a babysitter when you were growing up? Or did you have an older cousin, auntie or relative stay with you and your Family?
I had a couple of Aunties stay with us over different periods of time.
At the time being a young girl I thought it was fun to have more people around to play with.
But as I got older and now being a Mum I now understand that the Family that stayed with us actually helped my parents in looking after me and my sisters.
My younger sisters and Auntie Lita
This is very common in Pacific Island culture as we can offer relatives in the Islands to come to Australia to help. It also benefits them as they get to travel overseas and see an opportunity to stay in Australia.
Special shout out to my Aunties – Liz, Tai, Moli and Lita who helped raise my sisters and I 🙂
Some Australian Families may not have that support and so they may try a service like hiring a Babysitter or trying a cultural exchange like Au Pairs. (Au pair is a foreign young person who helps with cleaning and babysitting in exchange for food, a room and pocket money).
This is a challenge that couples will face as their families grow especially if both Mum and Dad decide to keep working.
In our particular case we chose to have Mum stay home full time and Dad work.
That choice means that I’ll be responsible for a lot of the home duties and everything that comes with it.
But at times it nice to have help like when my Mum stays with me over the weekend, or if we have a Family celebration and when my sisters visit with their kids and we head off to the local playground!
Auntie Moli and my cousins!
As you know baby #3 is on the way and I will be relying more on the things that make me feel happy and healthy!
Often I think about how we used to live as a community.
We lived together in the ‘Village’.
The ‘Village’ could mean anything to you.
It could be the sleepy village on a rolling hill in England, the mud brick house in Africa, the shack in Vietnam or the open walled fale (house) in the Pacific Islands.
Today the Village appears more and more ‘disconnected’.
Why?
We’re rushing to meet deadlines, pay bills for things we don’t need, chase appointments, snap the perfect selfies, respond to the social media notification, rush through your day, no ‘time’ to do important things…. the list goes on.
Auntie Tai, Mum and my younger sister
How about pausing long enough to enjoy the smile of the stranger who greets you? The stories of old neighbours of how things used to be? Volunteering to help someone in need?
The Village in Tonga has the whole community to help each other.
The Village supports the families by cooking meals together, spending time with each other, Women are upheld as important child bearers, Men are respected as hunters and protectors and we live happily together.
Doesn’t that sound awesome?
It also sounds like from a time long long ago!
But no, this still happens today.
When I visited Tonga last year I felt the same connection.
Travelling to Bali and getting out of the big city I saw that people live a simple happy life. Having been to Fiji people can live in a corrugated iron shack but they’re happy.
Hubby Leki and I in Bali 🙂
As we prepare for Baby #3 I’m mindful that the environment we chose to raise our kids should be one like the ‘Village’.
We’ll eat together, laugh and cry together, support and love each until we’re all connected again in our new Australian ‘Village’.
Then I made the goal of losing weight in just over 5 months to have a bikini body… while maintaining my target of breastfeeding baby #2 for 1 year!
√ I achieved that goal too!
Throughout the journey of self improvement and self discovery I found that I managed my stress better.
√ My quality of sleep improved.
√ I wasn’t as stressed dealing with kids who cry at night.
√ I maintain a loving bond with my husband Leki.
√ And importantly I was able to prioritise my time to things that really matter.
Our Catholic Community
My best way to reduce stress was to contribute to my community.
Being apart of a Family is special and not to be taken for granted.
My husband Leki works in the health field and speaks to a lot of different people from all walks of life.
New Australians from overseas struggle when they arrive because their whole network of friends and family are far away!
Belonging to our Family, our Church community and having Montessori, Mothers Groups and Gymnastic friends are important for my stress management.
But my Family bond is special.
I feel the special gift of Family when ever we get together.
The noise, the laughter, the energy of all the little cousins when they see each other.
My sisters who now have their own lives with their own families.
My parents who are getting older but still have the energy to play and help with their grandchildren.
This is something I don’t take for granted and it’s a gift to behold.
So whenever I feel overwhelmed and stressed I pick up the phone and call someone that loves me.
Most of the time it’s Leki.
Other times it’s my sisters.
Sometimes I chat with Mum or Dad to say hello.
Eme and Ky in traditional clothes
Then we have Mass I catch up with Aunties and community members from Church.
It’s something that I manage in cycles because I don’t want to lean on everyone everyday but when I’m really in need it’s reassuring to know that loved ones are around me.
If you are in need of a pick me up or you’ve found yourself stressed beyond relief – I would encourage that you look to the ones closest to you and ask for help.
Happy Birthday Princess Neriah!
We all belong to a Community in some form or another and the laughter and happiness can help reduce your stress plus relieve your feeling of anxiety and hopelessness.
If you need encouragement in your own journey Mama I’m always here – don’t hesitate to reach out and say hello 🙂
I think it’s important to evaluate how and what I’m doing as an individual plus as a family to ensure baby is nice and healthy.
All smiles!
My last blog post on this topic details how my 1st Trimester was going.
I’m now nearing the end of my 2nd Trimester and I would like to review this stage of the ‘race’.
We had our 24 week check up at the new Joan Kirner Hospital in Sunshine and they’re monitoring my chances of developing pre-eclampsia.
Let me say that the new facilities at Sunshine Hospital is very flash and I’m so happy to be giving birth in such vibrant surroundings.
Let me continue the main themes throughout my pregnancy:
Pain
Energy
Self care
1. Pain
In comparing to my other 2 x pregnancies this continues to be the smoothest pregnancy so far!
I have very little stretch marks, my feet are not swollen and I have the energy to get around my day without being too uncomfortable.
With that being said, my stomach has jumped out a lot more and it can be ‘in the way’ when I’m doing things around the house.
The other day I was folding and washing clothes and I went to get up like I normally do but I struggled and had to rock and roll myself up onto my feet 🙂
To minimise my pain I have been very mindful of the food I choose to eat.
We subscribe to a low inflammatory diet strategy where we avoid sugar, grainy carbohydrates and focus on having great sleep.
The net result of all this effort and discipline is no pregnancy pain!
I continue to be in the best shape weight wise.
I continue to be in the best mood and maintain a positive outlook.
The choices I’ve made food and well being wise we believe has resulted in our ‘best’ pregnancy to date.
The lessons in this book is what we’ve followed in the lead up to this pregnancy.
Highly recommend!
2. Energy
I’m 5 months pregnant and I am responsible for running my household.
My husband works full time and I’m at home full time providing a nurturing environment for our little family.
In order to maintain a high level of performance my husband Leki and I need to make sure we are ok as individuals and strong as a couple.
He is responsible for a lot of the health strategies we follow from all the research and science he reads and tests on himself.
He is not only someone I lean on when I have weaker moments but also makes me feel special when I’ve achieved goals.
I also do my bit by pulling him up to our standard when he has his weaker moments!
As you can probably tell – we are very big on trying to eat well 80% of the time so that when we have our naughty meals on the other 20% it doesn’t impact our health as it used to.
If you have time I would recommend you research the ‘cyclic ketogenic diet’ which is the style of eating that we follow that enables the metabolic state of ketosis.
If we are good on the 5 working days then a couple of naughty meals on the weekend won’t hurt us aka ‘cheat meals’.
Keeps us happy and sane!
To get an idea of my meals check it out below which can alternate:
Breakfast:
Low carb Toast + avocado, tomato and cheese
Porridge, banana and raw honey
Egg + baby spinach, asparagus, avocado and butter
Smoothie = cacao powder, chia seeds, flax seeds, banana, MCT oil, almonds and coconut water
Dark choc bombs = 70% dark choc (from Aldi), cacao powder, chia seeds, almonds, coconut oil and pitted dates. Blended and then left to set in the fridge
Tim Tams/crackers
Fruit = strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, banana, grapes, peaches and pears
Water and coconut water
I also supplement with Blackmore’s Pregnancy Gold for Pregnancy and Breastfeeding every morning with my breakfast.
The Doctor has also recommended I take aspirin while I’m pregnant to minimise the chance of pre-eclampsia.
3. Self Care
Apart from happiness and food – one of the biggest return on investment is sleep.
In terms of self care – sleep is no. 1 for us.
You know yourself when you’ve had a poor nights sleep the next day is like a nightmare.
You’re a zombie.
That’s why we’ve placed a huge emphasis on getting the kids into their own room early and getting them to self soothe.
Our 16mo Kyneton is out of the cot and in his little big boy bed.
He needs me to nurse him to sleep (he’s the thumb sucker looking for comfort).
Once he’s asleep he’s pretty good at sleeping all the way through for 8-9 hours with a few little grizzles in between but we mostly leave him to self soothe.
Our 4yo Emelina is a superstar sleeper.
Sleeps over 9-10 hours consistently.
Both kids are in their own room.
5 months pregnant + my ankles are still bony!
Now you can imagine with a newborn due to join us – the last thing I would want to be is cranky with the kids because I’m not getting the rest I need.
Especially with the age gap of around 20 months between new baby and baby #2.
Sleep has to be a priority!
Another measure to improve your self-care is a regular break.
Leki and I returned from a Babymoon trip to Bali recently and it was a God send 🙂
We were like teenagers again although I couldn’t boogie as I’d would have love to.
A few breaks have been planned for the rest of 2019 and the first half of 2020!
Gives us something to look forward to as we battle through the weeks ahead!
Lastly, I’ve have been tracking my weight gain to keep an eye on the numbers.
Pre-baby I was around 71kgs comfortably.
Sunshine Hospital
I’m now 5 months pregnant and I weigh 81kgs.
My goals is to only put on 15kgs with this pregnancy and I will document my 3rd weight loss journey post baby!
Review my past game plan for safe and effective weight loss – HERE.
5 months along and we’re going really well.
But… Let me tell you a little secret.
We’re going to try and qualify for a ‘water birth‘.
We are still conducting some more research on this and what we need to do to prepare but if I do develop pre-eclampsia then I’ll automatically ruled out.
With the new facilities at Sunshine Hospital I think it’ll be a great experience and my basic understanding is that it is a lot easier for labouring Mum’s and less stressful for baby.
Reviewing where we’ve been, he was breastfed for 12 months and was comforted with a dummy around this time too.
He didn’t suck his thumb at that point.
Rewinding the timeline a little further we started introducing the mashed solids at 8 months to compliment breastfeeding.
Still no thumb sucking.
Later, we introduced bottle feeding with formula after 12 months of breastfeeding.
He was eating solids, having a bottle in the morning and night and was completely off the dummy by 13 months.
It’s around this time I noticed Ky was starting to suck his thumb.
We didn’t place a lot of urgency in trying to get Ky off his thumb and we let it slide.
He’s now 17 months old and uses his thumb to nurse himself to sleep.
When he’s watching TV or just sitting about we’ll find him with his left thumb in his mouth sucking furiously.
After some initial half hearted effort we just swiped his hand away form his mouth but after we disappear we come back to him again relaxing sucking his thumb.
Our first go to action is to out apple cider vinegar on his thumbs.
As a back up solution I have purchased some nail solution from Chemist Warehouse 😉
The idea with both is to discourage him sucking his thumb because it tastes yucky.
I’m afraid that Ky might affect his teeth with the thumb sucking.
I’ll let you know how we go with the next update in a couple of months 🙂
Today we are going to share what we got up to on our Babymoon Trip to Bali.
You may have heard of a Honeymoon for newlyweds… well a Babymoon is for parents to getaway before the new baby arrives.
Sounds fitting!
We were invited to a joint 30th birthday party earlier in the year and we thought it would be a great chance to relax and reconnect.
This was Jan 2019 and we have just found out that baby #3 was on the way.
We had been trying for 1-2 months and then we passed the pee test. Read about what I wrote about that HERE.
My husband Leki and I are very active with keeping our calendars free for family events or things we’re interested in doing.
So when we were invited to Bali we knew we had the time available to go.
The experience outranks the monetary cost.
Don’t get me wrong we value $$ just like everyone else does but we prioritise and value time with each other, family and friends a lot higher.
Money is a means to an ends.
My net worth is not my self worth.
So with that being said we started planning out trip.
Found a reasonable place to stay in Seminyak near the party goers. Had the pool, buffet breakfast and comfortable room. Organised transfers to and from the airport and we set our budget.
We then discussed how we would manage our kids, 4yo Emelina ans d 1yo Kyneton.
I approached my Mum and asked whether she would be able to babysit the kids for 5 days in May.
She said yes and started to plan how to manage her work hours so she could help us out.
Owe her a million bucks but some creams from Victoria’s Secret will do for now 🤣🤣
This is was all organised by Feb.
We feel really strongly about being self sufficient.
So when it comes a time to ask for help we don’t feel like we’re stepping on any toes and they are happy to help because we don’t ask often.
It’s a win win scenario.
FYI – when we called video called the kids were so happy playing with their cousins. They forgot all about Mum and Dad and said they’re having so much fun! See… win win.
Can you imagine the feeling of having kids who are happy and safe with Family while you and hubby relive your youth alone together in Bali?
I am so blessed and I don’t take that for granted.
So what was on the itinerary?
Rest.
Recharge.
Massage.
Talk.
Eat.
Sleep.
Think.
Smile.
Laugh.
Plan.
Celebrate.
Had so much fun and we have started planning the next trip which will most likely be winter 2021 back to Bali.
Here’s a little snapshot of 2019 and 2020.
Sept 2019 baby #3 arrives
Nov 2019 cousin’s wedding in Sydney
Jan 2020 Ky’s 2nd bday and Baby #3 Baptism plus Leki’s Family retreat
Feb 2020 Sister’s wedding
Mar 2020 Eme’s 5 bday/ Leki and Bma 35th bday bash
Nov 2020 Other Sister’s wedding
So you can see there’ll be a little bit of time before we feel the warm sun in Bali again.
We’ll continue to be happy and healthy until we return.
The struggle is real with how to feed my kids when they can be picky with their food.
“Eat your broccoli”
That’s what my parents used to tell me.
Then I would try and hide the vegetables under other scraps on my plate and try and look for the exit.
Soon my Mum or Dad would notice the veges that were poorly hidden and then I was forced to sit at the table until everything was eaten.
I’m sure you can relate to this scene in your own upbringing.
But, now the tables have turned.
I need to raise my own kids to ‘Eat Their Damn Broccoli” 🙂
Funny how life serves you justice…
When our children eat what we eat and when we eat sometimes I wonder whether ketosis is okay for kids.
To give you an idea of what we eat I’d already posted a big chain of blogs – HERE and HERE.
My older child Eme (4yo) goes 4-6 hours without eating and our food strategy helps ‘turn off’ their hunger so they can focus, read and play. (She knows that at Nana and Poppy’s house there are heaps of snacks but we don’t stress too much over that!)
Kids, because they’re growing, need a lot of energy.
We believe what you eat is important because it gives you the best form of energy!
I’m not a doctor, and you should consult one if you’re worried, but in my experience my 4yo daughter does well on a low-carb, moderate protein & high-fat diet, and she’s probably in ketosis at times.
My little guy (1yo) is eating 80% of what we eat. He only struggles in the morning as he doesn’t like eggs… yet 🙂
Here’s a great blog post from Dave Asprey that we like and I’d like to discuss the main points:
Use Superhero Language – something that makes sense to them
Be Firm At Dinnertime
Make Bulletproof Versions Of Favourite Meals
Cook With Your Kids
Be Grateful
Use Superhero Language
In trying to encourage the kids to eat what want Leki and I sell the idea that it will give them energy to have fun at School or train at Gymnastics.
It gives them the impression that if they don’t eat then they won’t have the energy to have fun.
Works pretty well although we don’t have to used this strategy that often.
We started Eme (4yo) on our food strategy when she was about 18 months and she’s never looked back.
She rarely gets sick, has plenty of energy throughout the day and sleeps over 10 hours every night. We’re blessed!
Be Firm At Dinner Time
This is our ‘go to’ strategy.
If the Emelina (4yo) doesn’t eat what we give her then we send her to bed without eating anything.
We are firm that what we have cooked for them was made with love and that we wouldn’t give them something to eat that we wouldn’t eat ourselves.
It’s almost an “up to you” situation which encourages them to make a decision.
Eat and be happy or be unhappy and go without food overnight.
It won’t kill them to go hungry for a little while.
After a couple of days of dinner time stubbornness we’ve found that she fall in line pretty quickly.
Intermittent fasting for a 4yo 😉
Again, with Kyneton our 16mo, we are extending him a little more time but around 18-20mo we will also encourage our strict dinner time routine.
We believe building Bulletproof kids requires a loving firmness which will build their resilience.
Make Bulletproof Versions of Favourite Meals
This is our second go to strategy.
Whatever your favourite meal may be we substitute with another handy paleo/Bulletproof product.
Rice? Nope… Zoodles or spiralised zucchini.
Chocolate? We recommend making Cacao chocolate bombs.
Brownies? Try pitted date brownies.
Toast and omelette? Maybe sub in sunny side eggs, avocado, butter, asparagus and baby spinach.
Chocolate and biscuits? Fruits and nuts are always friendly.
Plan flour and sugar? Try almond flour or coconut flour and stevia.
Plenty of healthier substitutes you just need to keep digging and research 😉
Cook With Your Kids
On occasion I cook with the kids mainly for a bit of fun for also so they understand the process it takes to prepare a meal.
In the morning Leki and Ky prepares breakfast. So when he’s lightly pan frying eggs Ky sees the process.
On weekends Leki makes pancakes and Eme often helps with cracking eggs and mixing the bowl.
It can be messy but more often it about the trial and error.
Once upon a time Eme really struggled with cracking eggs.
She didn’t have the right mixture of light handling and controlled force to break the egg shell.
Over time she has become a lot more confident in cracking eggs.
Now, our 4yo Eme can prepare fruit and cut the stem from strawberries for the family.
We’re so proud of her!
Be Grateful
Lastly we share things with the kids so they can understand how lucky they are.
If our 4yo was clumsy and spilt a cup of water. We often ask her to be careful and we don’t refill the cup of water.
She complains and asks why she can’t have more water.
We reply: “You need to be more careful Eme because some kids just like you don’t have water like you do”.
She usually cries trying to understand what’s happening.
Regardless, we stay firm and don’t replenish her cup.
She learns the lesson of disappointment and dealing with her actions.
Other times, if she’s not listening or misbehaving, we take something away from her that she loves.
We often keep her from her Montessori school or we threaten not to take her to swimming or gymnastics.
These aren’t empty threats.
Once we load the chamber we need to fire the bullet otherwise future threats/’negotiations’ are worthless.
We are reinforcing this feeling of disappointment so she understands things shouldn’t be taken for granted and that she should be grateful.
Ky gets off scott free… for the moment 🙂
BONUS! HERE are some Bulletproof sugar-free snacks for kids!
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