And lastly, I managed to achieve the Water Birth I was aiming for which makes me happy because I focused on achieving this for over 12 months.
This meant being healthy and ensuring I didn’t have pre-eclampsia like I did with my other 2 x pregnancies!
So I would like to present an unfiltered account of the final stages of my pregnancy just like last time with baby #2 – Kyneton Wardell Sisifa.
WARNING: BELOW YOU WILL SEE ME GIVING BIRTH TO MY DAUGHTER AND IN ALL IT’S GLORY. THERE WILL BE REAL BLOOD AND GUTS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK! 🙂
So here is the story of Safaia’s journey to join us in chronological order beginning on Thurs 26 Sept 2019:
Thurs 26 Sept
5am – Start of Braxton-Hicks Contractions
At 40 weeks and 3 days I officially started the final stages of my pregnancy.
I monitored how often they came on by popping the times into my Viber app I use with my hubby Leki.
The next few Braxton-Hicks signs were at 1-2 hour intervals 8am, 9:30am, 12pm, 2pm, 4:38pm with some pink discharge, 6:55pm, 8:07pm, 10:06pm and 10:43pm.
Fri 27 Sept
12:30am – Regular timings of Braxton-Hicks Contractions
Between 12:30am to 6:14am I had 12 x short contractions but they became more regular from every 1 hour to 30 mins then down to every 20-10 mins!
We decided that we would head into Melbourne and drop off the kids to Aunty Vine so that we have plenty of time to travel to Sunshine Hospital.
I had a short warm shower (in an effort to try and relax the muscles from contracting)… but that didn’t work as I had 3 x contractions during my 10 minute shower 😉
Fortunately I had already prepared our car, my hospital bag and had the kids bags packed and ready to go 2 weeks prior.
7:12am – ‘Normal’ morning
Leki prepared breakfast and encouraged our normal routine.
Our 4yo Emelina and 18mo Kyneton were happy, fed and cleaned up before we packed them in the car.
When we left at 8am I had 9 contractions which lasted about 1-2 minutes each and as a gauge were around 6/10 in pain (10 being the worst).
These contractions were ranging between 5-7 minutes apart!
We left home in Gisborne at 7:45am for Preston in good spirits.
GAME TIME!
8:40am – Dropped The Kids To Aunty Vine
While we were heading into Melbourne I contacted my caseload midwife Ellie and explained the situation.
I feel so grateful that I have Ellie in my corner again as she previously delivered my baby #2 Kyneton.
Fortunately she was already on her way into the Hospital and recommended heading in when my contractions were strong and regularly 5mins apart.
I was happy with that because my contractions continued to vary from 10mins to 7 mins to 5mins.
We set off to Sunshine Hospital at 9:20am which would be a 25min drive.
My contractions were consistently 5mins apart.
9:45am – Arrived To Sunshine Hospital
Instead of waiting at Aunty Vine’s house we decided to go to the Hospital and wait.
I lost count of how many times I went to the toilet… I felt like my bladder was always full and I needed to empty them even if nothing happened.
Leki and I waited until my contractions ramped up as Midwife Ellie prepared my birthing suite for the Water Birth.
Around this time I rang some family members to let them know that I was about to be admitted into the hospital.
My Mother and sisters are in Tonga celebrating my Grandmother Taina’s life and her headstone unveiling with Family. They were so excited to hear the news!
My Dad rang and wished me well.
The contractions were frustrating as it did increase in severity from 6/10 to 8/10 but the time between contractions changed from 20mins to 10mins and again back to 5mins.
In the mean time I was walking up and down the hallways, walking up and down stairs and kept a positive mindset.
I was thinking of my little girl and set the intention to have a nice peaceful Water Birth.
11:35am – Admitted
I was taken up to Level 3 Room 8.
It was a luxurious experience and I don’t say that lightly.
The room was dimly lit but filled with nice electric candles plus soothing meditation music was playing in the background.
As my contractions continued to be irregular Midwife Ellie offered me a Stretch & Sweep to bring heighten the contractions and bring on the labouring.
After a few minutes thinking about it I decided to go ahead with it.
The Stretch & Sweep was performed at 11:45am.
12:34pm – REGULAR contractions
I was going through very regular contractions after the Stretch & Sweep.
I was standing, walking and labouring upright as I found it comfortable.
By 12:36pm I had officially started the labouring process (according to Midwife Ellie) and was helped into the Water Bath.
I was having stronger contractions and I felt like the ‘baby had dropped’.
1:00pm – Labouring in the Bath
The heat of the water was relaxing.
It helped to have Leki in there with me as he applied pressure to my lower back for each of my contractions in the water.
I was in all fours but my top half was braced on the edge of the Bath as Ellie was giving me instructions.
With each of the contractions Ellie was coaching me through what was happening.
She had a mirror underneath me to see what was happening.
I have to be honest I was so scared that I’d shit the bath.
Even though Ellie said it’s completely normal and does happen often I still didn’t want a code brown 😉
In the end I didn’t lose my bowels but I was half concentrating on trying to labour without dropping my guts LOL
Although the pain were intense each wave of contractions was coupled with a sense of getting closer and closer to the finish line.
There was a point that I felt Safaia’s head moving closer to the exits.
After that push subsided I complained to Ellie that every time I let the contraction ‘push her out’ when it stopped it was like she retreated back in.
Ellie then explained that it’s normal as the baby is moving and the passageways are stretching for her eventual arrival.
Contractions were 2 mins apart now.
2:18pm – Safaia Arrives!
One of the key instructions Ellie said was to allow you body to push when you feel like you can’t avoid pushing anymore.
That means don’t push too early… wait until you can’t hold it back any longer!
The main reason why you don’t want to push too early is that it can tear your vaginal walls which means a lot of damage, stitches and longer healing times.
I made my best effort to look for that telltale sign of not being able to hold it in any longer and then push with all that I had!
My last 3 x contractions I was increasingly getting more and more frustrated because I always felt that Safaia would edge closer to the exit and then she’s running back in 🙂
But then the time came…
There came a sensation that felt like all the lead up disappointment of Safaia ‘coming and going’ had reached a peak.
It felt like a point of no return
It almost happened magically without pain.
I peered down and with one contraction I saw baby Safaia’s top half pop out.
I gathered my strength and waited until the next contraction to come around and I fought hard not to jump the gun and push before the contraction.
Again, Ellie was coaching me through this process and was pleading with me NOT TO PUSH if the contraction hadn’t come on yet.
Why?
If I pushed too early I would definitely tear some vaginal tissue and make things worse for me after baby is born.
She also asked me not to raise her above the water when she’s out as she needs to remove a bit of the umbilical cord around her neck.
She explained that it would be easier to remove it when she’s still under the water then struggle with it out of the water.
Luckily I managed to hold on and with the last contraction…
WHOOOOSH!
Out she popped.
It was the most relaxing graceful entry into the world I’ve experienced so far!
She wasn’t crying, wasn’t stressed or even curious.
Safaia arrived into the world sleeping 🙂
The umbilical cord around her neck was masterfully removed by Ellie and Leki was right next to me as Safaia arrived.
I felt so relieved and blessed that it was all over.
2:38pm – Placenta Birth
Leki and I remained in the Bath which was a bloody crimson colour from the labouring discharge.
I was encouraged by Ellie to gently pull on the umbilical while I was in a semi-squat in the bath.
I gave it a couple of tugs and then Ellie supported by bracing me from underneath, with a few more pushes…
WHOOOOSH!
Out came the placenta which felt like another mini-birth.
2:54pm – Skin On Skin
I was helped out of the bath and placed onto the birthing bed to rest and recover.
One of the key things Ellie had to perform now was to assess how much structural damage there was from pushing Safaia out!
I was worried because there was a lot of blood.
Ellie checked and reported that the bleeding was normal and what was important was if it was able to stop by itself.
This meant I had to lie on my back for 30-45mins with my legs clamped shut to try and stop the bleeding.
I used this time bonding with little Miss and she spent her first few moments feeding off me and resting.
My sisters called me on Messenger and I was excited to show them my little trooper!
4:15pm – No Stitches!
I received great news when Ellie told me I didn’t need stitches.
Although I may be sore for a couple of days if I can avoid heavy lifting and excessive walking/squatting then I should be all fine 🙂
Around this time I was fed by Leki while I was resting on my back.
The last time I ate was 7am that morning and with all the effort and energy pushing throughout the day I definitely needed some food!
I prepped some food a day before and packed it for the kids to have at Aunty’s house.
I also had some prepared for us just in case.
Nothing fancy just beef mince, home made tomato paste and boiled vegetables.
Leki warmed it all up in the maternity ward kitchen.
5:00pm – Nice Shower & Change
I then got up and had a nice hot shower while Leki changed little Safaia.
It felt great to take my time washing all the pain and suffering away and change into some warm comfy clothes.
Just before her little outfit change Ellie measured her:
34cm head circumference, 51cm in length and 3.1kg in weight.
So proud!
Her first little matching headband blanket/swaddle was specially made by my Mum.
I bought some material from Spotlight and she made it two weeks before Safaia arrived.
I love the fact that it was uniquely made for her from Nana 😉
6:00pm – Check All The Vital Signs & Early Discharge
So both Leki and I had a nice warm shower and freshened up.
Ellie was completing her paperwork.
Little Safaia was resting by the window soaking up some sunshine when…
Ellie mentioned that we’ll be discharged home soon!
I was kinda shocked.
Not shocked… more surprised.
I was really looking forward to staying over at least one night.
I packed for 2 nights 😉
But Ellie explained that my vital signs were stable, my birthing wounds will heal naturally without stitches, I didn’t have any pain relief and she would check up on me in the morning over the next 2 days and for 5 visits in total at my home.
She also explained that baby Safaia is healthy ans happy without jaundice or any other troublesome signs.
After I got over my initial disappointment I was actually relieved!
I can sleep in my own bed – YAY!
Soon after I rang Aunty Vine and asked if it was still ok for Emelina and Kyneton to sleep overnight.
She quickly said yes and not to worry they are having a great time.
I felt relieved and helped Leki prepare our things to leave.
It was all starting to sink in now.
We’re going to home with baby #3 in tow 🙂
So happy!
7:00pm – Discharged
Leki left the car in the paid car parking next door and it cost us only $12 for the whole day!
He took our things over and came back with our capsule seat for our little companion.
While he was doing that I spent some time rugging Safaia up with layers.
And then that was it.
Leki came by, picked us up, popped the capsule into the booster seat, leaned over and gave me a kiss and that was it!
He asked me what I wanted for dinner.
I gave him a cheeky look and waved my hand into the ‘Golden Arches’.
On the way home we stopped half way because Leki was worried Safaia was breathing LOL
She was so quiet and he wasn’t used to it.
After a quick check we were good to go!
8:00pm – Home Sweet Home
When we got home we settled in, warmed the place up and placed Safaia in our bassinet attached to the pram.
Leki and I put our feet up, ate our McDonald’s watching an old episode of Criminal Minds (Leki was also keeping an eye on the Melbourne Storm match LOL) and enjoyed our time together.
We retired to bed at 9:00pm as I gave Safaia her first feed at home.
We both feel asleep, dead tired, in our own beds in our own home with our little girl nestling right beside us sleeping soundly.
What a relief!
In just over 12 hours I had left home, pushed out a baby and returned home like it was a normal day!
Well, if you have stuck with me all the way through – THANK YOU.
I really wanted to experience the water birth process and make it real for you and me.
My intention for this story was to be real and not hide any details.
If my pregnancy and labouring effort sounded easy and breezy I don’t apologise.
The fact is it was very smooth and pain free compared to my other 2 x pregnancies and birthing efforts.
We had put a lot of thought and preparation for having the best experience.
We spent time researching birthing options and decided water birthing was what we wanted.
We decided to take control of our health and eat better.
I spent time working on my self talk and being mindful of my thoughts both negative and positive ones!
Leki and I often talked about how much effort it would take to get from Gisborne to Sunshine.
We shopped and packed our bags early to avoid any surprises.
We asked for help from Family and Friends.
We planned for Plan A, Plan B and Plan C.
All this effort didn’t go unnoticed.
I’m at home already preparing for the upcoming week as Leki prepares to get back to his work and I’ll be holding the fort until some help arrives in the form of my Mum (when she returns from Tonga).
So if you’re interested here’s my…
Top 3 Hacks For Having An Easier Pregnancy & Labouring Effort:
1. Get control of your health BEFORE you think to conceive
It’s amazing to think how much of this was the critical factor in the whole process.
Getting yourself in shape physically, mentally and psychologically BEFORE you even think to get pregnant is my BIGGEST recommendation.
Just think… you may have conditions that are mostly coming from lifestyle factors and can be completely reversed RIGHT NOW!
Poor nutrition, poor stress management, poor sleep, negative self talk, poor social support and poor financial habits.
Put some time into reversing these things and find what works for you and it will make your whole experience all the more successful 🙂
2. Routine & Structure is the way FORWARD
A big part of reversing your bad habits is to automate your new habits.
If you have a diet plan that you’re going to follow. Prep the meals.
If you have a weight loss strategy or exercise plan. Find a friend or partner to be accountable to.
If you work or stay at home full time organise a timetable that is non-negotiable.
The thing Leki and I observed with our routine is that when things get out of hand we know what it takes to reestablish our normal day.
It’s like being on a seesaw. If you go too much one way then you have to allow the other side to come up to counter balance.
For example, once we’ve establish our game plan for prepping our meals we saw how long it takes and we can decide which day of that week has a 2 hour window where we can bulk cook. Weeks can vary with commitments but we are committed to our food prep work because nutrition is key for our well being.
3. Get Out Of Your Own Way
Growing up I always had thoughts of not being good enough.
I set the bar low on expectations for myself.
Can’t read well.
Can’t write well.
Not confident when talking to people and always go red.
Even now with so much self development work and ongoing positive self talk I still find myself battling with “Imposter Syndrome”.
Am I being who I am truly on this blog?
My reading and writing have improved a lot with the help of my husband by just persisting with something uncomfortable.
How?
By working together as a team.
I’m not even going as red anymore and it takes extreme cases if I’m being shy or embarrassed.
I remember meeting someone new for the first time and I can feel my cheeks getting flush with blood.
Now… yes I still get a bit nervous but it’s more because of the excitement in meeting someone new who’s interesting rather then the embarrassment of them judging me.
When it came to this pregnancy it all fell into place when I got out of my head and got out of my own way.
We fell pregnant within 1 month of trying whereas our first effort took over 18 months.
I lost a lot of weight without much exercise and being very disciplined with my eating habits.
The list goes on…
In short you are able to achieve remarkable things Mama if you just get out of your own way and make it happen! NO EXCUSES!
So there you have it.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post as much as we have presented it to you.
And just like that we’ve grown to a Family of Five.
With love,
Belinda, Leki, Emelina, Kyneton and Safaia xo
P.s. We are aiming to have 5 x kids so you’ll have another 2 stories in the future 😉
I like tracking how my kids are growing because overnight changes almost happen daily.
My original post on my kids development was Oct 2018 – read about it HERE.
At that time, my little girl Emelina was 3yo and my little boy Kyneton was 9mo.
On the next update Feb 2019 I compared how quickly they had both grown and I had announced that baby #3 was on the way!
Eme is now 4.5yo and Ky is 1.5yo.
Here’s the latest 🙂
Kyneton is 18 months old
Sleeping
We are trying something different at night.
Kyneton is really good going down when its bed time but after 5 hours he grumbles a little bit, we give him some water and then he’s asleep until 5am.
We put him down and he’s asleep by 7:30pm he’ll be good until 12am and then he’s up at 5am and that’s where Leki takes over.
It could be worse I suppose.
He needs me to nurse him to sleep.
Sometimes his little feet stumbles into our room and he wriggles in somewhere.
We are not as strict with Kyneton with self soothing as we were Emelina.
Apart of me enjoys have him shack up with us sometimes but other times I wish we were more firm with him.
But in preparation for baby #3 due to arrive we have been putting Ky down with Eme in her room.
It seems to work pretty well because he wants someone around him when he’s unsettled.
When we settle our little girl into routine we’ll review the game plan with Ky’s sleeping arrangement.
That’s the plan at this stage.
BodyMovements
Kyneton is happy exploring his environment whether it’s inside or outside.
He likes to be by himself and figure out how things work.
When I’m in the kitchen and I watch him play in the backyard I see him climb into the trampoline or explore the garden and observe the birds and he calls out to them ‘quack quack’.
His running style is getting more stable as he had a very funny zig zag type of running pattern – we’d joke it’s because he’s carrying a big heavy head making him unstable.
I guess his key body movement at the moment is thumb sucking.
Yes, he’s a comfort thumb sucker but we thinks it’s cute 😉
Spatial Awareness
Ky is aware of his surroundings and can be very cautious.
The other day we visited his new cousins at the Royal Women’s Hospital and he was very excited to be in a new environment but didn’t want to lose hand contact with either of us.
If we are in familiar territory like Nana and Poppy’s house he runs around like he lives there!
When we are at the local park he quickly realises that the playground is around the corner and is itching to get out of his booster seat.
It’s like he knows his sense of direction when we are in the car running around to the local shopping spots, dropping Eme off to Montessori School or going to Gymnastics.
Can’t get too much past this little guy.
Food
Kyneton likes food but he’s now starting to pick and choose.
We don’t let him live it up too much.
If he doesn’t want to eat what we’re eating then he can go without food… for a little while 😉
The next time he wants to act up when we feed him then he needs to make a decision on what he wants to do.
Suck it up and eat or go without food for a little while.
He’s no longer needing me to ‘Mama’ his food anymore and it’s almost a year since we topped up with formula.
Discipline
We also believe in firm discipline.
He gets a smack and it reinforces something we’re trying to teach him.
The oven is hot, the knife is sharp, the drawer is dangerous, trip over your toys left laying around… the list is endless!
We start with a firm word and come down to him at face level and talk to him.
If he persists or tests us then he’s gonna learn LOL
We smack with love in our heart.
He’ll learn… eventually 🙂
Emelina is 4.5yo!
Sleep
Emelina is a champion sleeper if there is such a thing.
She goes down at 8pm and wakes at 7am.
What a dream!
The only change is that we’ve put Kyneton in with her for a little while to buddy up until our new little girl settles in!
Spatial Awareness/Gymnastics/Swimming
Eme has been a steady performer in her gymnastics school!
Her form is not as straight as some of her classmates and she’s a little afraid of heights but she’s persisting with her training and enjoying it!
Her little body is not as flexible, strong or fluid but we can see the potential of what Emelina could develop into if she is continues to practice and be consistent.
So proud of her effort so far I hope she continues to enjoy it!
Discipline
Emelina has a naturally curious and fun personality.
She’s definitely testing the boundaries but it’s from mostly a place of curiosity rather then being naughty.
I’m down the home straight of my 3rd pregnancy – our due date is 24 September 2019.
Read my last update on how my 2nd Trimester went… (HINT: It’s going really well! YAY!)
Last week I wrote about our intention to have a Water Birth.
So far things are looking great as I’ll only qualify if I am healthy and I don’t need medical equipment all over me.
Being healthy was a long term strategy and I’ve touched on this over the journey…
Read my update on my 1st Trimester where I also share some health tips that have helped 🙂 – HERE.
I’d like to maintain my KEY topics throughout my pregnancy:
Pain
Energy
Self care
1. Pain
Getting very heavy now but still managing pretty well.
No back pain.
Sleeping well.
Feeling good.
And enjoying my baby bump.
I would only say that I’m getting tired quicker so things that normally take 20 mins to do currently take an hour 🙁
Focusing on my health and making better choices is the only reason for why I feel so good.
Honestly… with our first child Emelina who’s 4yo I didn’t focus on my health and ballooned out to 105kg. I felt sluggish, had back pain and was sleeping poorly.
I believe my poor dietary choices contributed to Emelina’s mild food allergies.
Fast forward to our 1.5yo Kyneton I was much improved with my nutritional choices and I focused more on stress management and better sleep conditions.
My little is boy indestructible… hardly gets sick and can eat anything.
I have mentioned previously that this has been my smoothest pregnancy so far and I look forward to how our little girl shapes up when she finally arrives in 2-3 weeks 🙂
2. Energy
I stay home full time and am responsible for running our 4yo to kindy, managing our 1.5yo and keeping the house in good working order.
That’s not for sympathy because a lot of us Mamas enjoy this but it can be taxing!
Leki’s Dad and Family
Often I can be driving long distances for seeing Family like on Father’s Day.
Travelled 60 mins from our town of Gisborne to the city where Leki’s family live.
My Dad and my sisters 🙂
Then from the city 40 mins to Thomastown where my family live.
It was great fun to participate in Family events even though I’m about to pop and it beats being at home all day 🙂
I did eat a whole heap and enjoyed myself!
I’m currently weighing about 91kg and I hope to maintain my health and lose 1-2kg before I give birth.
I plan on documenting my healthy weight loss journey post baby like I did last time 🙂
Having more energy allows me to focus on things like cleaning up my home and preparing for a newborn baby, shopping for gifts for Family and friends, manage my household to make it homely, plan my nutritious meals, be there for my husband, care for my kids, look after myself and focus on things that make me happy!
Who couldn’t do with more energy!
I’m sure you can relate Mama!
3. Self Care
A big part of self care to me is communication.
I let people around know what I’m feeling and what I’m prepared or not prepared to do.
It saves time and reduces a lot of stress for everyone involved.
Another self care trick we use is planning our cheat meals as a little reward.
All week we are good and there are 1 or 2 meals where we can loosen up a little bit.
So every week we look forward to our cheat meal.
It’s usually a Friday night and hubby Leki drops by our local Maccas and collects a Family McFavourites box.
We go with 1 x Big Mac (Leki), 2 x Quarter Pounders (kids) and 1 x McChicken (me) plus 2 x Sprite and 2 x Coke with the 10 x McNuggets.
We substitute the chips for 4 x salads and I bake sweet potato chips at home.
Leki has avoided eating fried chips all year and soon we will all upgrade to avoiding most takeaway fried food… I can’t quite kick the habit just yet 🙂
This is something that we are slowly moving towards as we work towards better alternatives.
Well… as I mentioned in my last blog post I will be looking to have a Water Birth (fingers crossed all goes well) and I’ll document and share that process with you.
My health journey as Mama continues as we plan for a generous household of Mum, Dad and 5 x kids… eventually 🙂
25 years ago my Aunties and Uncles started a Catholic community for Tongans based in Melbourne, Australia.
In 1994 they started the Tongan Catholic Community at Sacred Heart Preston.
I have great memories growing up with my cousins learning our culture and language.
After Church my uncle Daniel who was a youth leader would take the kids to McDonald’s on Bell St Preston or Foodstar on Plenty Rd.
Other times we would gather at my Aunty Pauline and Uncle Daniel’s house around the corner from the church to practice our choir songs, eat and celebrate family times.
When new families move to Melbourne we would organise a little welcome dinner or meal and it was always a great feeling being involved with a community.
I remember preparing to perform a traditional Tongan dance for community gatherings.
Our traditional dance incorporates graceful movements, upright standing form with our National costume.
I used to be so scared that I’d forget the movements.
I’ve come full circle now as my 4yo daughter performed her very first dance just like I did all those years ago!
We were so proud!
So now our community is just a few families as people move further away and Interstate.
The thing I love about our community is that it’s a place to slow down and enjoy your family, say thank you for all the good things you have in your life, look to draw help and support from when times are tough and it’s a commitment that my Family enjoys.
Looking forward to maintaining our traditions and keeping the culture alive.
Did you have a babysitter when you were growing up? Or did you have an older cousin, auntie or relative stay with you and your Family?
I had a couple of Aunties stay with us over different periods of time.
At the time being a young girl I thought it was fun to have more people around to play with.
But as I got older and now being a Mum I now understand that the Family that stayed with us actually helped my parents in looking after me and my sisters.
My younger sisters and Auntie Lita
This is very common in Pacific Island culture as we can offer relatives in the Islands to come to Australia to help. It also benefits them as they get to travel overseas and see an opportunity to stay in Australia.
Special shout out to my Aunties – Liz, Tai, Moli and Lita who helped raise my sisters and I 🙂
Some Australian Families may not have that support and so they may try a service like hiring a Babysitter or trying a cultural exchange like Au Pairs. (Au pair is a foreign young person who helps with cleaning and babysitting in exchange for food, a room and pocket money).
This is a challenge that couples will face as their families grow especially if both Mum and Dad decide to keep working.
In our particular case we chose to have Mum stay home full time and Dad work.
That choice means that I’ll be responsible for a lot of the home duties and everything that comes with it.
But at times it nice to have help like when my Mum stays with me over the weekend, or if we have a Family celebration and when my sisters visit with their kids and we head off to the local playground!
Auntie Moli and my cousins!
As you know baby #3 is on the way and I will be relying more on the things that make me feel happy and healthy!
Often I think about how we used to live as a community.
We lived together in the ‘Village’.
The ‘Village’ could mean anything to you.
It could be the sleepy village on a rolling hill in England, the mud brick house in Africa, the shack in Vietnam or the open walled fale (house) in the Pacific Islands.
Today the Village appears more and more ‘disconnected’.
Why?
We’re rushing to meet deadlines, pay bills for things we don’t need, chase appointments, snap the perfect selfies, respond to the social media notification, rush through your day, no ‘time’ to do important things…. the list goes on.
Auntie Tai, Mum and my younger sister
How about pausing long enough to enjoy the smile of the stranger who greets you? The stories of old neighbours of how things used to be? Volunteering to help someone in need?
The Village in Tonga has the whole community to help each other.
The Village supports the families by cooking meals together, spending time with each other, Women are upheld as important child bearers, Men are respected as hunters and protectors and we live happily together.
Doesn’t that sound awesome?
It also sounds like from a time long long ago!
But no, this still happens today.
When I visited Tonga last year I felt the same connection.
Travelling to Bali and getting out of the big city I saw that people live a simple happy life. Having been to Fiji people can live in a corrugated iron shack but they’re happy.
Hubby Leki and I in Bali 🙂
As we prepare for Baby #3 I’m mindful that the environment we chose to raise our kids should be one like the ‘Village’.
We’ll eat together, laugh and cry together, support and love each until we’re all connected again in our new Australian ‘Village’.
Then I made the goal of losing weight in just over 5 months to have a bikini body… while maintaining my target of breastfeeding baby #2 for 1 year!
√ I achieved that goal too!
Throughout the journey of self improvement and self discovery I found that I managed my stress better.
√ My quality of sleep improved.
√ I wasn’t as stressed dealing with kids who cry at night.
√ I maintain a loving bond with my husband Leki.
√ And importantly I was able to prioritise my time to things that really matter.
Our Catholic Community
My best way to reduce stress was to contribute to my community.
Being apart of a Family is special and not to be taken for granted.
My husband Leki works in the health field and speaks to a lot of different people from all walks of life.
New Australians from overseas struggle when they arrive because their whole network of friends and family are far away!
Belonging to our Family, our Church community and having Montessori, Mothers Groups and Gymnastic friends are important for my stress management.
But my Family bond is special.
I feel the special gift of Family when ever we get together.
The noise, the laughter, the energy of all the little cousins when they see each other.
My sisters who now have their own lives with their own families.
My parents who are getting older but still have the energy to play and help with their grandchildren.
This is something I don’t take for granted and it’s a gift to behold.
So whenever I feel overwhelmed and stressed I pick up the phone and call someone that loves me.
Most of the time it’s Leki.
Other times it’s my sisters.
Sometimes I chat with Mum or Dad to say hello.
Eme and Ky in traditional clothes
Then we have Mass I catch up with Aunties and community members from Church.
It’s something that I manage in cycles because I don’t want to lean on everyone everyday but when I’m really in need it’s reassuring to know that loved ones are around me.
If you are in need of a pick me up or you’ve found yourself stressed beyond relief – I would encourage that you look to the ones closest to you and ask for help.
Happy Birthday Princess Neriah!
We all belong to a Community in some form or another and the laughter and happiness can help reduce your stress plus relieve your feeling of anxiety and hopelessness.
If you need encouragement in your own journey Mama I’m always here – don’t hesitate to reach out and say hello 🙂
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