Hello everyone.

This post comes to you directly from Thailand while I’m away on holidays.

There are so many things I thought to write about while I’m enjoying time with my family – traveling with kids, things to do in Phuket, a review on our resort or maintaining my standard of lifestyle while on holidays.

Being away with my family makes me grateful for all the good things in my life.

But a thought that I can’t shrug in this time away reflecting is “what happens if my husband dies unexpectedly”.

Doom and gloom sort of subject I know but it’s something that is important to me.

You see I’m a full time stay at home Mum. I help make my house a home. I run the kids around. I enjoy cooking and cleaning. It’s how I best serve my little Family.

Our household income comes solely from my husband.

This is the sacrifice we decided to make once I finished up full time work almost 4 years ago.

I’m at home and he’s at work.

So if my husband suddenly passes away – our family will be in clear danger.

We talked about all sorts of scenarios if this happens.

The result?

Confidence.

Confidence to know what to do if an event happens.

Here are the Top 3 things we did to ensure our future if either of us or both of us suddenly pass away:

1. Insurance
2. Will
3. Estate planning
   

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1. Insurance

We like to think about insurance as paying for peace of mind.

You can choose to spend some of your money or not. Totally up to you!

There are all sorts of insurances out there for the ‘in case that happens’ scenario.

Private health insurance to cover you if you need services at the hospital.

Car insurance for damage to your car.

Funeral insurance to help ease the ‘burden’ of your funeral costs.

Travel insurance for all the things that might happen while you’re abroad.

Pet insurance for your little family companion at home.

I think there is insurance you can purchase for anything you can think of!

Here is my simple summary for our insurance explained by our family professional.

• Life insurance

If either of us die then there is a lump sum payment that can paid out to help the remaining family members

• Trauma and Permanent Injury

This type of insurance covers us if either of us sustain an injury that is permanent in nature.

For example if either of us were paralysed or permanently incapacitated then a lump sum is paid with an ongoing monthly income.

• Trauma

Trauma insurance is something that will cover you if you sustain a serious injury but you are likely to recover.

Let’s say Leki has a car accident and needs 6 months to recover from his injuries. This insurance coverage is activated as his other insurance policies do not cover this type of injury.

This is a lump sum payment with can also work in conjunction with Income Protection below.

• Income Protection

This type of insurance product is for when you are unable to work and a regular monthly amount (you have previously verified through your tax returns) is paid to you to cover your expenses while you are not able to work.

Think of Income Protection as your ‘weekly pay’ that you would be getting if you were working. That cash flow would help you buy groceries, put petrol in the car and pay for things that the family needs.

If you got struck down by an injury playing sport for example and you were unable to work for 2 months while you rehabilitated then you can action your income protection insurance.

So there you go.

As I understand it – if you are thinking about your insurance cover when you are ‘younger’ say in your 20s and 30s then the cost of your insurance will remain ‘cheaper’ then if you consider taking on insurance when you’re older and the risk of dying is higher.

I know this all sounds really dark and gloomy but I prefer to think and talk about these things with my family so we are clear on the best plan moving forward.

Just talking about it makes me confident.

It used to be that thing you thought about but never openly talked about it.

2. Will

Through our family lawyer Leki and I organised both our Wills.

It’s quite basic and doesn’t involve too many fancy things but it outlines what should happen if either or both of us suddenly pass away.

We approached the people we trust who we have named in the Will for their approval and counselled them on what our wishes are in the unlikely event that something does happen.

We talk openly about scenarios and what the lump sum payment from our insurances will be used for plus to assist with the ongoing costs of raising our children.

Talking about our game plan and likely scenarios really helped us but also assisted our appointed members on their accepted roles.

This is something that we review every year so that it is updated as we organised our Will when Eme was 1yo.

3. Estate Planning

What does that mean?

Well, to me it’s about what we plan to do with all our things or assets.

Both physical and non-physical.

You see it may be one things to have all the money in the world but what’s the point if you can’t enjoy it or more importantly pass it onto your children and help set up future generations.

I often think about stories of generational wealth being lost within 1-2 generations.

For example, let’s say your grandparents work hard to establish a business.

Then that grandparents teach their children who grow up and build the business to a new level of success.

Often, once the grandchildren are introduced to the family business all they have ever seen is the success and they tend to ‘enjoy and then spoil’ the success that their grandparents built.

This is not always the case but it’s very common.

I love this quote on this topic with this article – “The first generation builds it. The second generation sustains it. The third generation spoils it.”

The third generation rule stats that over 90% of great wealth over 2 generations lost by the 3rd generation. Crazy!

So from our perspective it’s one thing to have material wealth but it’s just as important to teach our kids about our philosophy of things to set them up for success as best we can.

Simple truths that have stood the test of time.

Don’t spend more then you make.

Work hard for the things you want.

Be happy and grateful for all that you have.

Finish all the food on your plate.

Don’t give up on your dreams.

So I would like to say that this post is not something you should take as gospel.

Think about your family and what would happen if you get thrown a big curve ball.

How will your family survive and thrive if one or both parents suddenly die?

Have some hard conversations with your partner.

Self educate and ask some hard questions to your chosen professionals in this space.

Try your best to teach your kids and lead by example.

I don’t want to come off as preachy as I’m not a professional in this space but what I can tell you is that I can sleep a little bit easier at night knowing that if something does happen we have a game plan – regardless how painful it may be.

As they say – Knowledge is Power.

Sending you positive vibes 😉

With love,

Belinda xo

Hi guys,

Today I’m going to talk to you about moving houses.

It’s one of those situations that a lot of people can empathise with because it can be a big pain in the backside!

I read somewhere that there are 3 things that people can relate to in terms of ‘stress’ – from highest to lowest:

1. A family member passing away
2. Having a serious injury or car accident
3. Moving house

Changing utility services from the old location to the new one, internet connections, organising mailing forward service from the post office and packing boxes. It’s all a big struggle.

But we tend to look at it in a different light. For example:

• Hubby and I get review all the old utility fees and see if we can negotiate a better deal with the new connection
• I see it as a chance to freshen up as I can get rid of all the old things I’ve been holding on to (Yes – I’m a closet hoarder. I like to hold on to old things like they’re never going out of fashion)
• Sorting through all ‘those things’ at the very back of the closet you can find long lost items. That old cardigan, old photos you completely forgot about and that missing ear ring 🙂

We are preparing to make a little move from where we live in Kyneton VIC 15 mins closer to the big city of Melbourne.

We are still roughly 45 mins from the CBD but a lot things we are involved with are in our new town of Gisborne.

Eme’s school and gymnastics. I’m a touch closer to family and friends and Leki can travel a lot easier between his work locations. Excited much!

So I was thinking about my own experiences moving to and from different houses growing up.

Let me start at the beginning:

Talking with my Mum she recalls living in a little unit with my Dad in Reservoir (an inner city suburb to the north of Melbourne) behind my grandparents house.

Fast forward a few years and my parents moved in and out of a number of homes but my memories of Heyington Avenue, Thomastown (an outer north suburb of Melbourne) is where a lot of my early child memories were made.

I began primary school at this house. I jumped over my neighbour’s fence and played with the dog. My aunty and uncle lived two doors down and my church community was nearby.

A lot of fond memories live here.

After 6 years living on Heyington Ave my parents bought their first home which is where they currently live in the same suburb, Thomastown.

Here I would live out my teenage years, help bring up my younger sisters and cousins, host many families and parties in the backyard, help my Dad build a separate house in the back, finish high school, start part time work at the local shoe store, walk back a forth from the train station at 6am for work in the city.

In my young adult years my older sister and I moved into the ‘back house’ which was a great feeling! We had our own space but I was still in the comfort of the family nest with Mum’s cooking 🙂

It is also at this home where my husband Leki proposed to me in front of our parents. This home will always hold a special place in my heart!

So I want to also talk about another special time in my life with regards to moving house.

When Leki and I were getting quite serious in our relationship he asked my parents if I could move in with him into his apartment. This was a big deal for both of us.

In many cultures young women are to stay at home until you get married. Our culture also encourages this but it’s not strictly enforced but I always knew I was supposed to stay home until I got hitched.

In the end both our parents agreed and allowed us to move in together.

On November 2008 slightly before my 23rd birthday – I left my family home forever.

Although there was a lot of excitement doing something new I also felt a heaviness in my heart because my time at home had come to an end.

So from Nov 2008 to Apr 2010 Leki and I lived together in an inner high rise apartment in Southbank.

This was a great time for me as not only had I just moved out of home, it was right in the middle of the big city!

I worked nearby and Leki travelled to the West for his work. Over the weekend it was an easy stroll to the local night spots, food markets and trendy bars. What a time to be alive 🙂

In the apartment was Leki’s brother and his girlfriend (now wife) and although we were all courteous and respectful in our little apartment I think we were all ready to have our own space.

So in Apr 2010 Leki and I moved into our first home Caroline Springs – an outer western suburb of Melbourne. It was another milestone for us as we were now a suburban family.

All we needed was the pet dog and some kids 🙂

In May 2012 we moved from Caroline Springs to a small unit near the airport in Tullamarine.

The small unit allowed us to save $$ and was accessible to work for both Leki and I while we worked hard to establish ourselves.

It is in this little unit that we welcomed our first child – Emelina. This little unit was so close to everything, freeways, shopping centres and my local Mother’s Group 🙂

While we were in Tullamarine we decided it was time really think about our lifestyle as a family. Where do we want to live? How do we want the kids to grow up? What else is out there?

It was around this time that Leki was offered a working opportunity in the Macedon Ranges. Perfect! This was the sign. After 6 months of thinking about it we took a deep breath and decided to dive in.

We made the tree change to Kyneton – roughly an hour out of the Melbourne CBD.

On Sept 2016 we called country Victoria home.

We even named our second child after our town – Kyneton! That’s how much we love it out here.

We’ve hosted birthday parties and sleepovers here.

Met a lot of great locals and community groups. Seen and experienced the great outdoors. Tasted a lot of the local produce. Watched with pride as our little girl roamed free in our sizeable backyard on her birthday parties!

And so it is with a heavy heart we prepare to leave Kyneton to pursue new goals and our desire to be in the country remains strong as ever the only difference is that we now call Gisborne home!

So that’s small insight into our current living arrangement as we look to move soon.

In the last 10 years – from 2008 to 2018 – I’ve moved out of my family home into an inner city apartment, moved into a house in the suburbs, relocated into a small unit block moved onto bigger land in the country and now we make another move.

I feel this helps us to be resilient in moving for future travels.

Who knows, maybe we won’t need to have a fixed address and we’ll caravan around Australia for a while. Or maybe we’ll move back into the city. Or maybe we’ll want to move to the beach? Maybe we’ll explore interstate? Who knows… we might even move overseas?

Whatever the future holds I can only learn from what the past has taught me.

Nothing is certain.

Enjoy each day and embrace whatever tomorrow brings.

With love,

Belinda xo

Hi all,

Today I’d like to talk about disciplining our kids.

Well, at the moment it will be a report on our 3yo Emelina and finding the right balance.

The challenge we’re struggling with is smacking our kids vs positive encouragement.

Let me be honest.

We smack Eme.

Not all the time only when she’s showing behaviour that we want to correct asap.

For example Eme may move too close to the oven while it’s steaming hot and after warning her many times she continues to push the boundaries then…. smaaaaack!

Or she starts to talk out of turn while I’m on the phone and despite my positive reinforcement she continues on and then…. smaaaack!

Every time I smack her I feel remorse immediately.

I’m in this strange time in her development where she can communicate (very basic) with me but sometimes doesn’t quite understand what I’m asking of her.

It’s as if sometimes she responds better to the physical pain from a smack.

She learns that what she just did was wrong and rarely repeats the same behaviour.

We’re mindful that we don’t want to reinforce the smack as the leading strategy but only after the positive language and reinforcement has failed.

So for example – every time we warn Emelina that the oven is on and hot now she understands what it means now and will repeat to us “oven is hot stay away” 🙂

Other times though we’ve let her learn from her own mistakes.

When she was 1.5yo and pretty confident moving around our house, she was trying to climb up and down our couch set.

We warned Eme “be careful Eme you might fall”.

She turned and gave us a cheeky smile and tried to climb the couch – one leg hanging off the edge and the other trying to scramble up.

Then she almost got up before her trailing leg wasn’t anchored properly on the couch and she fell flat on her backside and gave herself a big fright.

She burst into tears but then we explained to her again that she needs to learn to be careful when doing dangerous things.

What was the underlying trigger for her memory – physical pain.

If she was naughty and did not listened…. smaaaack. Physical pain.

If she fell off the couch…. Physical pain.

I believe there is value in learning through pain during these early years.

The tough task will be when our children are a little older and able to communicate effectively – then the smack with not be as effective.

I’ve observed over time that as children grow and develop they respond to circumstances differently.

By the time Eme is around 5yo she’ll be able to talk more clearly, express her desires and frustrations better and we can outline our expectations about her behaviour.

There will be no need for a smack at this age onward.

But as she’s 3yo and testing the boundaries we are trying to be extra patient and practice “Curiosity over Judgement” but sometimes a little tap on the backside can set them straight 😉

There is this practice in our culture that if you are naughty when you are growing up you can be sent to live with Family in the Pacific Islands.

It may sound like a holiday but it isn’t. Believe me!

In Tonga,  misbehaving kids in school are often smacked by the teacher – corporal punishment is widely accepted.

A daily practice children often spend a period of the day cleaning the classroom and weeding the school grounds.

Remember that Tonga is regarded as a third world country so the comforts in Australia can be a distant memory. A good way to learn some humility when the child is sent back home after 3-6 months in the Islands!

As often happens both Leki and I got much more then a smack as we were growing up but we turned out ok.

How do you guys discipline your kids? Do you believe in tough love? Or are you totally against any corporal punishment?

Even though we smack Eme when the situation calls for it we do it in a loving way 🙂 How could you not love this cheeky spirit?

I’d be really interested to hear what your thoughts are on this one 😉

With love,

Belinda xo

Hi guys,

Thank you for your support of my blog.

It’s been 1 YEAR since I posted my very first blog post 🙂

I remember feeling embarrassed and scared about putting my ideas out to the universe and talking about the things that interest me.

Wow – looking back, I can’t express how much I’ve changed and grown over the last year.

I’ve celebrated 10 years of friendship with my best friend, my husband Leki (Sept 2017).

Celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary (Nov 2017).

Added to our growing family with our second child – Kyneton (Jan 2018).

Watched with growing pride as our 3yo daughter Emelina started her formal education at our local Montessori school and gymnastics classes (Feb 2018).

Building my little business (More updates to come soon!)

Spent time with family and friends celebrating life…

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…

I’m learning to accept myself.

The post today is about honesty.

I honestly don’t know how I got this great life when there are so many unfortunate people around me.

I honestly don’t know how I managed to earn my beautiful family.

I honestly don’t know how I got through high school.

I’m not the best at spelling but we work on this blog together so it works out well.

I get confused and embarrassed because I get red easily when I talk to people because I’m not wanting to mix my words up and make myself look silly.

In the end it’s all about how you feel in your own skin.

No one is responsible for your happiness but you.

And if you agree with that then the opposite is also true…

No one is responsible for your unhappiness other then YOU!

With that being said I’d like to review how I can sometimes OVER estimate what I can get done in the short term but UNDER estimate what I can achieve over the long term.

For example after reviewing the last 5 months I had grand visions of losing a heap of weight quickly after having baby no.2 but as I found out it’s a struggle and requires more patience.

Another thing I thought would be straight forward was enrolling my 3yo daughter into our local ‘alternative’ school. I’ve since learnt that there’s a whole lot more that comes with Montessori and to be consistent with Eme’s learning at school – we have to continue her education at home. I’ll have a whole update on this down the track 🙂

But… the opposite is also true.

Something to celebrate for me personally is that over the last 12 months I’ve slowly shared with you little bits of my life and my family that I don’t get to share with most people. I still get nervous sharing some things about me.

I’ve written about my troubles with breast feeding, managing my long held anxieties, juggling 2 x kids at home, Montessori school, gymnastics, moving to the Country and being apart of different community groups… something that I never would have imagined 1 year ago!

With all the challenges and successes over the last 12 months I can only imagine how the next 12 months will have in store for me.

I’ll have to wait and see 😉

With love,

Belinda xo