Goodbye Faithful Friend

Goodbye Faithful Friend

Yesterday my little dog died.

I patted her goodbye as I went off to town and when I returned in the afternoon I was surprised that she didn’t run out to greet me. She was getting quite deaf but usually the cat nudged her when I came through the gate and they would both run to meet me. The cat didn’t meet me either and as I stepped onto the terrace I saw the cat watching me through the glass door.

I looked to the side and there was my little dog, lying on her favourite blanket, head on paws, fast asleep. I bent down to pat her and realised she was gone.

Tears welled up, as I remembered the many happy years we had shared…..the day we chose her from a litter and my husband put her in his pocket, the time our small granddaughters decked her with necklaces and tied a baby bonnet on her head as she sat patiently and the way she liked to sit at your feet with one paw resting on your shoe.

Sophy and our cat, Sox, were best friends.

They trotted after my husband as he checked water troughs and fences. They sat, one each side of me, as I gardened or picked tomatoes, then followed me back to the house. Often they were to be found, lying side by side, stretched out in the sunshine.

As Sophy became more deaf, Sox would tap her to make her aware they were needed. Sox is now dogging our steps, obviously missing her companion.

Sophy is buried in our pets’ cemetery, alongside Gyp, the most faithful companion to our boys as they navigated childhood.

Gyp was the ball-fetcher when the cricket ball or football went out of bounds, having learnt how to latch onto the football laces. Gyp was the one our four-year-old painted with his older brother’s model paints and when questioned, claimed “Gyp had got wet and went rusty”. Gyp liked to pose when the camera came out and there are few photos of our boys without him.

How grateful we all are for the wonderful love and companionship these little dogs have unstintingly given us, the empathy our boys learnt from being with them, for other animals, and the sheer joy they brought to our lives.

Sophy was over seventeen years old, fit and active, apart from some deafness, to the day she died. Wouldn’t we all like to live a full and busy life and then gently fall asleep in our old age ?

Farewell our good and faithful friend.

Me Time

Me Time

I was thinking about “me time”. Yes, I can hear mothers of babies and young children muttering “there is no time for ‘me time’”. And mothers of school age children who either work and/or spend precious time ferrying children to sport or ballet or music or just play dates muttering the same. STOP!

Mothers with babies and young children, I know you often use that time to catch up with some household task but try to spend even half an hour of their nap time doing something just for you whether it’s reading, going out into the garden, exercising or whatever. If your child doesn’t nap then early on get them used to going into their bedroom with books or toys with the door closed for an hour for “their special time”.

My husband used to give me Tuesday evening off, I’d go to art class and he was responsible for the children. That time apart from family responsibilities and having adult conversation was a lifesaver. Perhaps for you it could be some other hobby, maybe book club or just catching up with girlfriends where every sentence isn’t interrupted by crying or “Jimmy don’t do that” or “yes darling that is clever”.

Mothers of school age children, obviously if you’re also working you are desperately time poor but at least you do get to have time away and the opportunity to have adult speech. Stay at home mothers usually spend a lot of time helping at school and doing unpaid volunteer work plus the constant ferrying around. Make friends with the other mothers so that if there ever is an emergency or you’re running late you feel able to ask for help.

Keeping sane and having time with your partner/husband is the best argument for establishing set bedtimes for the children. During the week because my husband didn’t arrive home until 6:30 I used to feed the children early, cleaning up and putting our meals aside. Then after time catching up with the boys doings, he’d put them to bed with a story, we’d both kiss them goodnight and then zap our dinner and have it in peace and quiet. On weekends we all ate together, cleaned up together, did family things, went out together as a family.

Every month our parents gave us a Friday or Saturday night off and we’d go out to dinner and perhaps see a movie, go to a concert or dance or catch up with friends. It was good for the children to spend time alone with their grandparents as well. Remember your children will grow up and leave home and you don’t want to find yourself living with a partner you no longer know. Those years after your children leave can be some of the best and freest of your life together.

DO IT NOw!

And seeing I’m on the Advice Wagon, I know it takes extra time but when your young child offers to help with household chores like getting dinner or cleaning etc accept that help. Don’t wait until they are teenagers and then suddenly start asking for or yelling at them to help. Make it an expected thing from an early age.

Most of all take time to enjoy each stage of your life. It passes so quickly. As someone once said “It’s not the destination but the journey that is important”.

Ky’s Baptism

Ky’s Baptism

Hi guys,

Last weekend we celebrated the Baptism of our son into our Catholic Church.

It was a great day and we enjoyed having friends and family together to celebrate the occasion.

We selected my first cousin from Sydney to be the Godfather and Leki’s older sister is the Godmother.

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The Godparents 🙂

I enjoy the traditional aspect of our Faith and our Culture.

The day started off early with the help of my sister with make up and hair at 7:30am. While I was being made up Leki was getting Emelina ready and Kyneton was being nursed by my sister.

I had already asked my Family to help organise the day by getting my sister to pick up the Cake from Eiffel Cakes, my Aunty picked up the balloons from Lombards, we have personalised chocolates as a gift made by chocsbymez and we had 3-4 cars rolling over to the Church from my parents house loaded with local Family and those who came from interstate and Overseas!

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Thanks ChocsbyMez 🙂

Despite our best efforts we were a little late to the Church service at 10:30am but we were apart of the second half of the service.

My mother helped us into our Traditional costume which are woven mats with fibre ropes tying everything down. It looks uncomfortable but it’s not too bad and we are not in the traditional te’unga (costume) that often so we both enjoyed it 🙂

 

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Our Church

Kyneton’s Christening was at 11:30am and I was feeling a bit of stress as we were running late but things settled as we spoke to Father Jan and he settled my nerves!

The Baptism went for about 20 minutes and I must say little Ky did very well as I tried to make sure he was comfortable as possible. I fed him earlier and made sure his nappy was nice and fresh.

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All smiles 🙂

As Father Jan poured the water over Ky blessing him I thought Kyneton was going to belt out a massive tantrum but he was quite settled and actually drifted into a deep sleep 🙂 Lucky me!

As with all our Family celebrations we make sure we take plenty of photos to remember the occasion! This event was no different 🙂

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Our little community 🙂

Special shout out to my cousin and his girls from Sydney! We know more Sydneysiders would have loved to be here but sent their love and were there in spirit 🙂

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Thank You Sydney Crew!

Also want to mention my overseas travelers from Tonga and New Zealand.

My Grandmother, Aunty and Uncle and cousins from NZ who were able to celebrate the day with us.

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From the Friendly Islands with Love
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Cousins from NZ!

After we finished up our photos and engagements at our Church we made our way to the little after party at The Braybrook Hotel.

It’s a buffet restaurant based in West Melbourne and the main reason (apart from the quality of the food) we decided to host the gathering here was because they have an AWESOME indoor playground that is great for entertaining the kids. Highly recommend them for your next party!

So Kyneton’s Baptism was on Sunday 6 May 2018 but I pre-booked The Braybrook Hotel in February to make sure we had enough seats.

I picked and organised the date early in 2018 so I could let all the travelling families know early and allow plenty of time to save $$ and travel to Melbourne.

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Ky’s Baptism Cake

So by 3:30pm the day was completed and we were all done.

Despite a few little hiccups the day was a success.

Special shout out to my sister for capturing these priceless photos.

To all my friends and Family thank you for your help and witnessing my son’s journey in God’s love.

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TYJ

With love,

Belinda xo

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

Hi Mums,

Happy Mother’s Day to you all for next week 🙂

This post is arriving a week early as I have a few jam packed weeks coming up so I thought I’d share some of the events we’ll be up to on Mother’s Day weekend and I’d love to hear what you’ll be up to!

Mother’s Day is doubly special for me because it’s been almost 1 YEAR since my very first blog post!

I wanted to commit to posting weekly without fail and I’ve managed to do that. Hope you’ve enjoyed these posts that I’m sharing as much as I have presenting it to you 🙂

I also have a special part of my blog where I time stamped my very first blog entry which you can find in the top right corner 🙂

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Well, what has happened in a year? Plenty!

  • I had a new team member join our family – little Kyneton
  • Emelina has started up Montessori school and is slowly detaching from Mum and Dad 🙂
  • I’ve grown a year wiser with how I manage my time and spend it with loved ones
  • Emelina has started regular sport/training which I’ll share later 🙂
  • Plenty of celebrations, parties and events AND MORE!

So Mother’s Day is Sun 13 May and gosh the year has flown by so quickly already.

Just feels like we packed up the Christmas decorations just last week 🙂


This is what we have planned for the weekend

Early in the morning we’ve signed up to the Mother’s Day Classic which is a Fun Run/Walk raising money and awareness for Breast Cancer research.

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We’ll be definitely walking NOT running LOL

It’s based around my beautiful city of Melbourne in the Alexandria gardens and we’ll be dressed up in our best pink clothes and walking shoes!

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We’ve signed up for the 4km course

I wrote earlier that we moved over an hour away from the main CBD of Melbourne almost 1.5 years ago and we’ve loved the country change.

There are times though that I’ve missed being in the City and having that cosmopolitan feeling! It’ll be great to return back and make some new memories with my little family.

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Melbourne Botanic Gardens

When the morning is all finished up I’ll be having lunch with my Mother-in-Law in the city.

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Leki’s parents

We’ll take her out to a little Japanese place that’s kid friendly. Always good to see Family and spending quality time!

We’ll also plan to see Leki’s Grandmother who is now in a nursing facility and celebrate her strong spirit!

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Leki’s Grandma

We are lucky to have great grandparents with us still and we only have one set of them on both sides of our Families – Leki’s maternal grandmother and my maternal grandmother.

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The Yarra River

After we finish up having lunch we’ll head up to the Northern suburbs and have an early dinner for my Mother and my Grandmother.

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My Mum 🙂

We are celebrating Kyneton’s Baptism this weekend and we are blessed to have my Grandmother from Tonga visiting! So we get to spend time with her, celebrate Ky’s Baptism this weekend and Mother’s Day next week!

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My Grandma

Phew! Mother’s Day will be a busy day for us.

Fortunately we’ll be staying in the city overnight so we can get over to the Fun Walk nice and early then Lunch in the city before finishing off in the Northern suburbs then hike back out to the country late Sunday night.

Wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂

Have a great Mother’s Day – however you choose to spend it!

With love,

Belinda xo

A Friend In Me

A Friend In Me

Hi guys,

Esther was apart of an organising committee that successfully hosted a great party/initiative that celebrates children and parties. I asked Esther to give a little insight into how much effort goes into organising something at this scale!

The event was last Sunday 15 April 2018 and I asked Esther to give a little feedback prior.

Here’s the summary of what was on offer:

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Enjoy 🙂


Hi Belinda,

Just a quick note about this Superhero themed event. (Here’s the link to the Facebook event page)

How do we plan it all?
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Great work ladies 🙂
Basically, they are 3 of us that constantly messaging each other day and night to organise, finalise and brainstorm the party and we do have a few other volunteers helping out too.
We also managed to get all our partners involved too!
So we are 4 days away from the party.
This week we are finalising the schedule as some entertainers have last minute changes and we had to reshuffle everyone around which was an inconvenience to the others but we found a way to make it work 🙂
In the end we just had to work together to find a solution as the event was only 4 days away!

This is our 2nd year running this community event and it is bigger and better then last year as we have a bigger venue and hoping to raise more money for the Ronald McDonald House which is a charity doing great work for kids.

This week we are picking up and printing some sponsored vouchers, goodies for the goodies bags, bean bags for the quiet room for special kids and BBQ burner for the sausage sizzle. It’s all happening!
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We definitely had fun and will return next year 🙂
On Friday, I will pick up some bread from Bakers Delight, sausages from the butcher (Ascot Vale Meats on Union Road) and on Saturday fruits from a local green grocer (The Happy Apple) and cupcakes from Mister Nice Guys.
We will also spend all day Saturday (day before the event) getting together to pack the 300+ goodies bags, wrapping up the raffles prizes and finalising the party.

Beside that, earlier in the week on Monday we checked the venue to finalise the set-up.

The plan on Sunday (event day) is basically getting there at 7am to set-up and confirm the vendors at 8am and allow them to set up with a final briefing at 8.45am before the doors open!
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Super Leki and Owlette 🙂
We can’t wait for this as we had planned for this since last year July (almost 9 months of planning!!) and in only the last 6 weeks we had been more focused on delivering it.
We are so excited and LET’S PARTY!!!

Cheers,
Esther.
Can’t Slow Progress!

Can’t Slow Progress!

Hi guys,

Sombre post for you today.

I’ve broken this post into 3 short sections with some updates on Eme’s development/School that I’d like to report:


I had one of the worst experiences in school to date when a Mother described to me how her child was being called names and being bullied at school – because the child has special needs.

When the story was being retold to me I felt a range of emotions.

Infuriated! Frustrated! Helpless! Angry!

Fortunately the Mother calmed me down and said she’s conditioned for it and now it rolls of her like water off a duck’s back.

I’m still trying to register that.

I don’t think I’d ever recover if any of my kids are getting bullied or called names.

It would be even worse for me as a parent if I caught wind that it was my children bullying other kids.

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Big Girl School 🙂

But when she said the Mother of the offending child was also branding her child ‘retarded’ that crossed the line.

It reinforces the idea that children learn from their environment.

If parents are hopeless with their moral compass then can we blame children who bully if they pick up these same behaviours at home?

Of course not! They learn from what they see and hear.

I mentioned earlier that Leki and I are working on building respectful and resilient kids and even with our best efforts we can still fall short.

Actions not words.

That’s what kids respond to.

You can say one thing and then do another and they’ll judge you from what you did not what you said.


So with that vent out the way I have also something else to share:

Emelina has learnt the power of lying

Here’s the story… I noticed there was a little toy fish with the tail now broken.

I approached Eme about it and asked: “What happened to the toy Eme? Did you break it?”

Eme’s response: “No Mama – Aneira did it”

Me: “Tell me honestly Eme – did you break the toy?”

Eme: “No Mama – Neriah did it…”

Me: “Eme… this is your last chance… did you break the toy?”

Eme: “Yes Mama, Eme did it. I’m sorry” (with a cheeky smile)

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Happy Days 🙂

I couldn’t believe how this little girl managed it or if it’s a developmental thing but she will now test the boundaries with her little white lies.

In this short conversation she was trying to blame her cousins who hadn’t visited or played with the broken toy recently.

Once she realised that I wasn’t buying her story she gave up and accepted fault 🙂

I’ll have to be on my game from now on.


The final update is Eme’s successful detachment at School.

At her Montessori school the kiddies are grouped in age groups rather then Year levels.

So the first ‘stage’ to assist with development and eventually detachment from parents is the Nesting/”Nido” age group ranging from 6 months to 3yo where classes can be a weekly session for an hour.

After some time familiarising with the classroom and the teacher plus other kids you can then progress to the next class once you’re around 3yo.

The next age group is “Yellow Group”.

In Yellow Group parents are encouraged to say goodbye to the children in the morning before leaving while trying your best to avoid the drawn out goodbye.

So there I was at our second class into Yellow Group and after our first session I felt that Eme was settling in well with her new classmates.

When I went to say goodbye to Eme in the hallway leading into her classroom and I leaned in for the kiss and hug and then she said: “See ya Mama” turned around and ran excitedly to her Yellow Group.

And just like that… my little girl had cut me from her imaginary umbilical cord 🙂

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Eme’s School Bag

When her class finished 2 hours later – I was huddled with all the other anxious Mums in the hallway waiting to see how our little ones got on.

Next thing we hear is the door swing open and then the stampede of excited kids looking for the familiar face of Mum or Dad.

Then… out to the confusion I saw my little Eme.

Big eyes, wide brimming grin and a high pitch excited squeal when her eyes locked onto mine.

I felt so relieved that she enjoyed her time away from Mama because she has been my little side kick these last 3 and a bit years but now I feel she’s begun her own unique journey.

Such a #MamaMoment 🙂

Well, there you have it.

A wide ranging experience with pre-school.

Bullying. Lying. And now Flying… Solo!

The adventure continues…

With love,

Belinda xo

Time’s Up

Time’s Up

Wills are strange things.

They can be an affirmation of love or an opportunity to say things that would never have been said in life. They can make dreams come true or be an instrument of revenge. They can bring families together or tear them apart.

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When you have young children, making a will also includes making provision for the care of your family if you and your partner are both gone. This can be an agonising decision. Who will love them or raise them the way you intend ? Are the grandparents too old, too sick or unwilling to take on raising another family?

Is your sibling’s spouse on one side charming but way too casual with their own children? Is your sister-in-law a martinet whose children are frightened to say boo and live in something close to a prison camp? Are other siblings unmarried and always travelling or partying and will other siblings on the other side take offence that they weren’t chosen?

Are you both orphans with no close relatives? Would any of your friends be agreeable or capable? You pray it will never happen but you must make some provision or they will end up in state care. You may be fortunate that you have someone who is both willing and loving but many couples don’t have that luxury and agonise over the best of a very ordinary bunch. In our case it meant them being put into the care of an interstate uncle who barely knew their names and changed partners more often than his socks, or an aunt who drank heavily and screamed like a fishwife at her own children.

Will your children not only lose their parents but their home and friends and be forced to make great adjustments while coping with overwhelming grief? These are sobering thoughts for any parent.

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We wrote letters to our children to be given to them, in case the worst happened, before the reading of the will, (updating them every two years) so they would have written proof of how much we loved them and how proud we were to be their parents. We included a couple of photos very special to us all and then we prayed hard that they would never need to read them.

We breathed a sigh of relief when our eldest child reached an age where he could have the guardianship of his younger sister and brother.

How Do You Manage Grief?

How Do You Manage Grief?

I had a call this morning from an old neighbour of my parents. Elaine and her husband Fred lived next door to my family from the time I was a teenager and we were constantly in and out of each other’s homes. They were there for our marriage and when visiting my old home we always went across to see them. They gave our sons their first cricket bats and the whole family were very fond of them.

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Sadly Ted died suddenly nine years ago but Elaine remained in their home because that was where she felt closest to Fred. My parents have since gone and so visits have become the occasional phone call and Christmas card but today Elaine felt compelled to call me.

She said yesterday was her 90th birthday and she was suddenly overwhelmed by grief for the loss of her husband of 55 years. She wanted to talk to someone who had known and loved him.

Friends have told her she should be over it by now but she said how can you forget the loss of someone who was such part of your life.

It reminded me of a book I was given when I was grieving which listed the emotions one should expect to experience and how by certain amounts of time having passed you should “have moved on”. It was written by a well known psychologist but I felt the author had never actually experienced grief and ended up by pitching it into the rubbish bin.

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Everyone is different and experiences grief and shows grief in a multitude of different ways; it is impossible to generalise. Some people get relief by shouting and screaming and throwing things while others may appear to getting on with their lives while internally bleeding. Both are valid.

Some need to talk it out while others just need the quiet and space to fully realise their loss. Some can no longer stay in the home they shared amid the constant reminders of what was, while others relish the familiarity and the sense of their loved one being nearby. Some have done their grieving over a long period of illness and need to move on to a new phase of life and are perhaps more open to finding love again. Others cannot imagine life with another partner and prefer their memories. They feel being alone is preferable to settling for what they perceive as second best.

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No one should ever live their lives according to “what the neighbours think” or friends or even family. Do what that small voice deep inside you tells you is right for your circumstances and you.

Hot & Bothered

Hot & Bothered

Belinda Edit | Thank you to all our contributors for MyWifeLife. This entry by Mrs. Jane is her first for 2018 and it’s greatly appreciated.

Read more about our contributors here. Enjoy Mrs. Jane’s sage observations as a Mother and Grandmother.

P.S This blog is based in Melbourne, Australia and we are in the middle of our hot summer to give you some context 🙂


How have you been faring through the days of high heat?

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Averaging over 30 degrees Celsius in Melbourne

If you have a small baby my sympathies are with you as you try to keep the little one cool. Having had a January baby myself I remember his sweaty little body as I fed him through the heat and how flushed he was. Toddlers too often tire easily and become cranky and restless.

We seem to be the only country where our children return to school during our hottest month with often extreme temperatures. New Zealand and South Africa have milder temperatures than we usually experience, while in the northern hemisphere children have the hottest months on holiday returning to school at the beginning of Autumn.

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Grumpy babies everywhere!

I spent a few years living in Sydney as a child before air conditioning was available and remember well those humid, uncomfortable nights of broken sleep.

Everyone from children to adults was irritable and tired, dragging themselves through the day. One of the blessings of moving to Melbourne was to feel the Southerly Buster hit and the sudden drop in temperature whereas in Sydney an electric storm was more likely with even more humidity.

Pity the poor bridal parties coping with the heat, particularly if they hoped to have photos taken outside or on the beach. Pouring rain is another hazard or gale force winds.

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We were married in January with a temperature of 43 degrees, howling northerly wind and an electrical storm hitting as we were about to take photos.

Needless to say all our photos were taken indoors. In contrast my brother had married the year before in the middle of winter in icy conditions with the bridesmaids (including myself) turning blue to match our gowns.

Do you ever think of your wedding and think how different it would be if you did it now?

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Ours would be much simpler with more of our friends and fewer of our parents’ friends and definitely not Great Aunt Ruby who has a very limited acquaintance with soap and water.

Weddings for some have become ultra expensive and out of control.

We’ve been invited during the past couple of years to overseas weddings, Bali, Las Vegas and Paris and couldn’t afford to go, in common with many invitees.

We all felt guilty and so gave more than we intended, but one of the family felt it was a deliberate plan to cut down the numbers and so gave less.

Who was right?

Introducing Kyneton Wardell Sisifa

Introducing Kyneton Wardell Sisifa

Hi all,

GREAT NEWS!

On Wed 3 January 2018 Leki and I welcomed our second child – Kyneton Wardell Sisifa.

He joins our little girl Emelina who will be 3yo in March.

So I would like to share an unfiltered account of the last stages of my pregnancy and document the delivery below.


WARNING: BELOW YOU WILL SEE ME GIVING BIRTH TO MY SON AND IN ALL IT’S GLORY. THERE WILL BE REAL BLOOD AND GUTS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK! 🙂


 

So here is the story of Kyneton’s journey to join us in chronological order on Wed 3 Jan 2018:

3:35pm – 3rd Caseload nursing appointment

In week 36 to week 38 leading up to the final stages of my pregnancy I had high blood pressure monitored by my caseload nurse/Ellie as I’ve had history of mild pre-eclampsia from the last pregnancy.

I had 3 x 6 hours screening sessions on Wed 27th Dec 2017, Fri 29th Dec 2017 and the fateful one on 3 Jan 2018.

My nurse Ellie was not too confident with my high blood pressure readings so she sent me to Sunshine Hospital (local public hospital) to be screened.

I also started having Braxton-Hicks contractions.

4:25pm – Dropped Emelina to Leki’s sister to babysit in a nearby suburb

We had pre-planned for worst case scenarios by having our pregnancy ‘bug out bags’ in the boot of the car. I had bags packed for Leki, Emelina and myself. What a relief as I still had 2 weeks until I reach term 🙂

Leki’s sister and her family are a short drive from the hospital and helped a lot by having Emelina for 2 nights. THANK YOU!

5:20pm – Arrived to the Sunshine Pregnancy Care Centre

The nurses planned for another 6 hour screening of my blood pressure every 30 mins.

Leki dropped me off and went to chase up some loose ends at work with the intention of returning within the next 2 hours. He did was most men do and think that everything will be ok!

Back to scrolling my Facebook feed 😉

7:00pm – Baby is under stress!

While I was at the Pregnancy Care Centre (PCC) my growing contractions and abdominal pain was concerning the Head Nurse. She mentioned that it is not uncommon that high blood pressure can be an indicator that the baby is under stress. Things escalated pretty quickly as the specialists insisted that I should have an epidural and undergo a Caesarian section to get this baby out ASAP.

Luckily I didn’t share the specialist’s enthusiasm and opted to attempt a ‘natural birth’ after receiving great advice from the Head Nurse.

As I was moved from PCC to the birthing suite I rang Leki to let him know that the medical staff are looking to induce me. (He was obviously shocked with the sudden change in management and jumped on his magic carpet straight away! Fortunately he was only 30 mins away in peak hour traffic.)

So my Braxton Hicks contractions were starting to worsen and I told Leki to stop by his sister’s house and pick up some supplies as we may be having a baby tonight and my contractions were still more then 15-20 mins apart.

I video called Emelina when Leki arrived to his sister’s house and said soon you’ll be an older sister! For some reason I wanted to speak to Eme and let her know that Mama is ok as I felt rushed in dropping her off earlier and I had not properly said goodbye to her. I felt guilty that we’ll now move from being a family of 3 to 4 and that ‘time’ with Eme has come to an end. I was starting to feel so overwhelmed by it all!

8:30pm – Settling into the Birthing Suite

Imagine this scene.

Leki is sitting in the chair next to me eating fried rice, salad and chicken while I’m next to him in the bed huffing and puffing like a heavy elephant.

It didn’t irritate me if anything it comforted me as his casual approach smoothed the seriousness of the occasion – I’m being induced because baby is under stress!

We were offered options for birth – Caesarian section (again?!), water birth or natural birth.

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My goal from the outset was to push for a natural birth without medications. Managed it with Emelina so let’s try and make it 2 from 2!

Contractions were 10 mins apart now.

8:40pm – Water is broken

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My caseload nurse Ellie was making her way and so I had an experienced nurse Michelle for the first part of my delivery. She was successful in breaking my water and it felt like a cold stick being inserted between your thighs and then a rush of ‘warming flooding’ flushing out.

Fortunately after my water was broken they did not need to induce me as I was already starting the contractions and they were getting shorter and shorter between each contraction.

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Soon after the water was broken Michelle could see the baby’s head so she attempted to place a monitor on the baby to get some vital signs.

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*8:55pm – 2nd attempt to place monitor on baby’s head

*9:00pm – 3rd attempt to place monitor on baby’s head

Michelle had trouble placing the monitor on baby’s head as there was a small film of fluid that didn’t allow the monitor to stick properly. I’ll be honest it was frustrating to have her physically penetrate me each time and fiddle around so I focused on slowing my breathing down and picture being somewhere else more relaxing.

Contractions are now ramping up to being 5 mins apart!

9:13pm – STRONG Contractions

My contractions are now more frequent and more forceful being 2-3 minutes apart. Did I mention they were PAINFUL. I would rate the pain being 6/10 at this time although it shot through the roof quick smart!

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*9:16pm – contraction

*9:19pm – contraction

*9:21pm – contraction

*9:24pm – contraction

*9:28pm – contraction

*9:30pm – contraction – pretty much 10/10 on the pain scale now!

9:35 – Attempted to use the toilet

A sense of dread hit me now.

I NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET!

OMG!!! I might have this baby in the toilet! Michelle was trying to help my by saying “let your body do what it wants you to do”. If you need to use the loo then go use it baby is fine! Sounds like good advice but when you’re in the moment can you really trust your bowel and bladder to work together with your baby?

Believe it or not I felt more embarrassed that I might shit myself more then anything else. Definitely a moment of weakness.

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Luckily Leki was there to help. He had no problems with assisting me and did a great job of cleaning up the backdoor for me 🙂 and help calm me down.

It was a great challenge trying to manage the bowel contractions to the baby contractions. Even though it only took me 3 mins to use the toilet I had to time the baby contractions between the bowel contractions so I don’t get the double whammy!

Unfortunately I did have one ‘double contraction’ which is where BOTH the bowel and the baby contraction hit me.

You can imagine the range of emotions in that 3 minute window. Pain, embarrassment, fatigue, relief… and so on.

Again I was focusing on my slowed breathing strategy – 5 seconds in through the nose then slow exhale out the mouth in 5 seconds. Helped me a lot and I highly recommend it!

9:40pm – Standing Contraction

So by this time my caseload nurse Ellie had finally arrived and relieved Michelle from her great work.

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Ellie immediately recommended that I try and stand to labour for a short while to allow gravity help bring the baby ‘down’. I swear every time the contractions came on I could feel his little head was poking out the front door.

At this time my contractions were VERY STRONG and almost 2 mins apart.

*9:48pm – VERY STRONG contraction in standing

*9:51pm – VERY STRONG contraction and “feels like he’s coming”

*9:52pm – “HE’S COOOOMING!?”

9:52pm to 10:18pm – THE FINAL PUSH

I had reached peak dilation now and baby was making his grand entrance.

Leki reported that I had about 3-4 contractions over 20 mins in which I allowed the contractions to come over me then ‘push at the bottom of the contraction’ and give it everything I’ve got.

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As I was concentrating on pushing this baby out Leki peered over and watched everything from front row seats and saw baby’s head starting to show. He helped time my BIG PUSH with when the contraction was about to end and helped with my breathing regime in between contractions.

With my final efforts Leki saw that his whole head had finally popped out and that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck two times around!

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Not the most pleasant thing to see but with my LAST FINAL PUSH Ellie masterfully removed the cord around his neck and cradled him out all in the one motion and we had finally done it!

Leki and I had already cued up 2-3 names but we decided to wait until he arrived to see which name would suit him the best.

10:20pm – KYNETON WARDELL SISIFA

So, I’d like to formally introduce our son measuring 3.1 kgs, 51cm long and 32cm in head circumference – Kyneton Wardell Sisifa.

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10:23pm – Placenta delivery

Nurse Ellie offered an injection into the leg to help with the labouring to ‘deliver’ the placenta. It took another period of time for the placenta to arrive and Ellie asked if we wanted it.

Unfortunately we hadn’t done much research on do’s and don’ts so we donated it to science 🙂

*10:39pm – Placenta out and Leki cut the cord

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10:56pm – First family selfie

So this is our first (of many) selfies after the 2 hour labour. What a relief!

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We implemented the skin on skin time straight away and tried unsuccessfully to get little Ky onto the boob for his initial feed. He had the right idea but didn’t quite have the co-ordination to latch on straight away but after a few minutes of trial and error the little man managed to get on and suckle!

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11:29pm – Stitches

Ellie said that I’ve settled post delivery to start the stitching and repair the wounds of birth. She was pretty happy that there was only a little bit of damage which required 7 x stitches.

*12:01am – Finished stitches

12:01am-2:00am – Skin on skin and rest time

While Ellie was completing her clinical notes on how everything went Leki had a little nap on the floor next to me and Kyneton and I hung out and got ourselves acquainted!

2:00am-2:20am – Freshening up!

So I was well enough to help myself into the shower and wash all the pain and suffering away in the warm water! After the shower I got into my comfortable nightie which made me feel so relaxed and luxurious after the 2 hour labour!

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During this time Leki got Ky into his first costume change and he did a pretty good job while I was in the shower!

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Another selfie of the proud parents with their latest product! 🙂

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2:20am – Waiting to be moved to the Ward

So we’re nearing the end of the show and I’m waiting on the bed to be prepared in the Ward so I can be transferred from the birthing suite.

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Unfortunately there was no room for Leki to shack up with us so he was politely asked to go home. He kissed me goodbye and congratulated me on the great energy and effort spent on squeezing our little cherub into the world!

The next morning Leki told me he was too tired to drive anywhere so he slept in the car parked in the hospital car park. He’s one of those people who can sleep anywhere 🙂

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8:01am – Thurs 4 Jan 2018 – 1st Morning

So I had a pretty good night’s sleep with around 5 hours and I was fortunate to share the Ward with another 3 new Mums and they were all courteous and respectful despite the ‘cosy’ environment. We all made it work as women tend to do 😉

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Leki came by early in the morning and bought my first meal which was McDonald’s with coffee. Exactly what I wanted! Probably not the best meal to have first up but I felt I needed something to reward my effort 😉

Soon after I got myself up and changed Ky for the first time. Had to manage handling the doodle but it’s second nature for me now after having a couple of days practice.

**TIP – My sister who has a son recommended putting a wet wipe over the willy as you wipe just in case the ‘fire hydrant bursts’ which can protect you and the baby from waterworks LOL

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Well, if you have stuck with me all the way through – THANK YOU.

I really wanted to demystify the birth process and make it real. It’s very different from woman to woman and fortunately mine was quite straight forward with some minor challenges.

So how can I summarise the birthing experience? The best analogy I’ve come across is – “Imagine trying to squeeze a watermelon though a lemon” 🙂

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post as much as I have presenting it to you.

And just like that we’re now a family of four.

With love,

Leki, Belinda, Emelina and Kyneton xo